Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Gilbert, the Harley Hound of Heaven

It's been said that dogs mirror God. That's the free will hypothesis of religion. God let the human go and has been hanging on for dear life since. In this sense all suffering and all praise rests with the human not with God since God is just along for the ride.

Gilbert is God like in this sense. In our first encounter I took him from his mother and lifted him with human hands. The breeder, Deborah Mitchell, d'Tressor Kennels, Whidbey Island, had obviously introduced him to this and he licked my chin as puppies will. Gilbert is such as suck that he even rolls over belly up and exposes his genitals to the very best looking women. My dog.

He was anxious however when I introduced him to Truck. My Ford Ranger 4x4 was his first experience with driving and on the return from Whidbey Island he very quickly informed me that he wanted nothing to do with his his cage and preferred my crotch if we were going to have to go anywhere with Truck. As a smart dog he moved quickly to where he thought the greatest protection would be provided. Manly puppy.

A while back I introduced him to my Harley carrying him like a baby in first an Outward Hound chest carrier and next an over the shoulder Outward Hound sling. He wore Doggles eye protection. Initially a whimper or two was met with special bison treats and this was thought to be a product of the chill from the wind so I bought him a brown fleece called "cloak and dawggie".

I'd bought a T Bags carrier from Trev Deeley Harley Motorcycle even before I got Gilbert. I wasn't sure of the size as indicated by leather studded Harley leash I bought at the same time that Deborah said would probably hold a Bull Mastiff. The trouble with the TBag for Gilbert is that he kept dragging his whole tiny body through the hole that only the head is supposed to come out of.

I had to impatiently wait, plying him with treats and puppy chow in hope he'd soon bulk up to be a harley puppy and ride behind me in his own TBag seat. As cute as it was to have him carried in a baby sling it really did nothing for my mean biker look.

Gilbert having done Truck, and Harley did Canoe and Sailboat in the last couple of weeks and probably out of sheer terror has had a 'growth spurt' so yesterday was ready for the next stage in Harley Puppy traing.

He's becoming rather dubious about my suggestions though. Indeed in our discussion of him enterring the black box T bag he gave me a look that God probably gave his son Jesus when Christ said he was going to go ahead with the Cross. Big mournful eyes. Could you take this cup from me please.

I have two harnesses which go on him and the TBag has hooks that come from either end inside to hook to the harness. This was good because Gilbert was all for squeazing out of the head hole again and I couldn't very well nail his paws to the canvas bag.

Once I gave him those bison treats and lashed him down behind the harley 'sissy' bar with his Doggles on he had a change of attitude and almost looked like a confident older dog gung ho for a 'ride'. I could just hear him saying, "Forgive him for he knows not what he does."

And sure enough he was the perfect pooch riding to work with me through the Vancouver morning rush hour traffic. Not a peep. On the way back from work at night though in the rain he whimpered and was quickly rewarded with bison treats. He obviously needs a leather biker jacket.

I've found several Harley leather jackets for dogs on the internet and when he finally stops growing I'll definitely get him fully geared up. has doggy biker helmuts, not yet DOT approved, but so far I've found no leather chaps for biker cockapoos.
For now however, Gilbert is definitely Francis Thompson's Hound of Heaven coming after me on his Harley.

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