Rainy Burnaby, Clinic Tuesday

I slept well from 1030 to 430 am.  Woke. Peed. Went back to bed. Slept some more. Great little dog my companion. Lots of room on bed with Laura not here.  Not such a good thing.  Comfy with her beside me. Cozy. 

I was disappointed that Carney got a majority.  I really don’t like the globalism and beaurocratic and coruuptio.  I’m against communism but it seems to be gaining hold again. The religion of aetheism. Politics and power.  I fear communist china using Canada in the coming war between the Communists and the west. The WEF NWo is a world with Communist China number one. 

Meanwhile the war in Ukraine progresses with Russia on full time war footing and erupt responding the same.  NATO spending up with Trump pushing.  The Iran war continues with the Strait of Homuth blockade and extortion by Iran and now blockade by America in a classic siege scenario.  The world is screaming for energy and the US is giving it at a massive profit.  Without Iran, 20% of oil supply, pivoted to the US.  Meanwhile the Netzero, Green idiocy of UK and France and Canada, that globalist cabal lose money.

Canada could be the wealthiest but our federal government policies only serve China not Canada.

I’m feeling ‘economic insecurity’.  I’ve loans for the Thor and now the Willy. The money in the bank would cover it so I could ‘own’ them but right now I’m just paying the debts quickly and steadily I just find myself watching the numbers. I’ve sold off the cooper mini and the F350 and maybe the Honda 420 quad. I’m minimizing and making myself a nomad , lightening up. I may actually attack the storage locker one day.  I saw a box of books I can pass on.  That’s a next step.

Today I’ll book the installation of the Blue Ox hitch on the Jeep so I can tow it with the Thor motorhome.  I’m thinking I’ll get out to cheaper RV places this summer out of the high cost city. I’m fluctuating with thoughts of Alberta and the US then I think of going to the Sidney RV Park.  

I’m going downtown to the clinic today and am anxious about taking my car into the war zone that’s down there. I have anxiety and then I’m there and so enjoyed the people. I’d ride my Harley which is now out of storage but it’s raining.  I’m wondering about 2 wheel transportation too. 

I’m praying. The Orthodox Christian Church with the Bustards for the Baptism on the weekend was an uplifting Christian experience.

I deleted Facebook apt.  It’s been a year since I did that but I’m weary of the politics and don’t want to be faced with the ‘doom zooming’.  I want to be closer to God. I’m old and his home is my next destination while I’m here in his presence here.  I’m hopeful for less challenge.  My back pain and difficulty with balance and walking and my tremors bother me. 

I know I need to do more exercise but I’m primarily focused on things like driving my Motorhome from the south, seeing patients, getting the jeep and reducing the extraneous ‘stuff’.

It’s bear season and I don’t have any desire to hunt bear. I don’t particularly like the taste and I’m feeling too sympathetic to animals and trees and birds. I felt such sorrow when I shot the rabbit. I ate it fine.  It wass like killing fish with the bat . I felt everyone living and dying but I ate them.  I am sad and fear.  

there is love and fear, confidence and lack of confidence . Positive and negative.

I’ve been a mix but I’m moving away from the path I was on and looking for the new purpose and direction.  Last year I drove south and back then across country to see the nephews and great nephews and now there’s a great neice. I think of Wayne and consider driving north in the summer to visit Dads home.  

I miss sex.  The desire. It was a motivator when I was young.  I wonder about becoming a celibate monk like those days when I was a disciple of Paramahansa Yolanda. Vegetarian and meditating whole days.  Lots of exercising bicycling everywhere.  But I just lived to make love to all the gorgeous beautiful sensual sexy women through my life.  

I’m watching Friends and Neighbours - the guys and gals are in their fifties and they’re fucking like bunnies, the women initiating sex with the guys chasing money and having sons and daughters they need to put through college.  

I’m in a world of post menopausal women and men dying ten years earlier than the women worn out from carrying their burdens and the constant lack of appreciation.  The deep sense of betrayal when CBC every goes on and on about ‘toxic masculinity’ and I see men ruined by divorces to make lawyers rich, their wives aligning with these slick strangers in the greats family destrying scam.

I work to let go of resentments and remember the millions I lost but then that’s just the partisan deal. I wrote the script and couldn’t have stayed in the traps and faced jail time or drug addiction. So many men are damaged by providing and protecting.  And the women complain about sex like it’s worse that being shot at.  Meanwhile they celebrate the politicians who bring in the barbarians who rape and pillage while the citizens are disarmed and jailed for questioning the great replacement.  

We get pretty boy Trudeau and banker hustler Carney be cause the girls like them but as men we don’t get Pamela Anderson or Sidney Sweeney. I’d vote for Sidney Sweeney even if Cameron Diaz says she was hotter younger. Both are better than Taylor Swift who is always blaming men.  

I have been on social media too much. My mind is mush.

I want to know God and follow Gods will. I want to forgive and be forgiven. I want to know love and swim more.  There’s a pool a minute from me but I resist putting on a bathing suit and walking over. That’s the plan. That’s Godly. I’ve not walked the dog enough.  

I was glad to see Peter and Larry return with their Havanese Eva and Luka. We’ve walked with Madigan a couple of times since their return. I’ll get moving more. I’m delighted to be reading the Orthodox Church history and reading the latest pscychopharaamcology text. All the banking and transferring vehicles was distracting. I want to get healthy routines established .M ore prayer, more exercise. More kindness. More positive thinking.  More love.

Thank you Jesus for this day. Helpe me to focus on the positives. Help me to be optimistic despite the negatives of politics. I listened to George Straits I saw God today and loved the positivity. Listening to Amy Grant in the car singing Elshadai .  

Well time to get ready and go to work.  Thank you Jesus.