God and Thor Motorhome

I’ve awoken another day.  This is a miracle.  Each day is a blessing. I have more thoughts of mortality and personal morbidity. I had the news that I didn’t need eye surgery this spring or summer. The doctor will be reviewing my retina in the fall.  They’ve said I don’t need to go out and buy a white cane yet. I would like one with a derringer insert. I might not be able to sight and shoot but could pull the trigger the tip was in contact with an assailant.  The first thought of potential eye sight loss was paranoid, the impairment of my capacity to fight, then driving.  Will I be able to drive my motorcycle for another 10 years I asked.  I felt bad that I wasn’t a higher level of person who would first think of feeling the loss of seeing Laura’s face or reading. I realize that I most enjoy hugging Laura and Madigan the dog, not that I’d like to lose the ability to see them. Dad went bling and was so disappointed in his inability to watch documentary tv shows.  Having eye sight is an incredible miracle and I’m thankful for a mother year and the hope that surgery could repair the damage.  

I’m increasingly deaf and am thankful that my hearing aids allow me to hear in meetings.  I had learned to read one on one but in groups had difficulty.  I can also also wear them watching tv with Laura whereas before she complained I had the volume so high it hurt her ears.  In hotels the neighbours banged on the walls and I thought them assenting and the hotel construction cheap until the ENT specialist said my hearing really was the problem. I’ve upgraded my hearing aids this year.  I’m thankful for that 

I’ve bought this Thor Hurricane Motorhome and want to be able to drive south in winter and go camping weekends in summer.  I am now able to pick up and leave too. I really like the freedom.  

Thank you God. 

In the beginning there was God and God made the heavens and the earth and all things .  I wake in the morning and there’s this material world.  God created all from the one of himself or from ‘no thing’.  There wasn’t god and building blocks.  Just God the one becoming many. I love the hologram as pattern and the DNA .  Not only that the space between matter is mostly empty.  Life is an illusion.  I could be waking today to this ‘computer synthesized dream’ .  Some Black Mirror, Twilight Zone of Shakespearean proportion. There is the ‘rub’.  

God is omniscient.

God is omnipotent. I’m finite and God is infinite. I have limited power and God is all powerful.

Thy will be done, not my will.

I believe God is a loving God.  Love .  Creative , not destructive.  Like Freud who said there is Eros, “life wish” and Thanatos, “death wish”.  I wish for life today.  I am thankful for this life.  

I’ve made coffee from the green beans, roasting, then grinding, sidamo Ethiopian green beans to delicious original coffee. I am blessed.  I’ve eaten yogurt and a banana, taken the ocular vitamins, watered the plants and walked the dog.  Laura’s text says she has her hair apt at 2 and then will join us.  Madigan will be ecstatic. He was annoyed that I didn’t let him out when he saw Peter walk by with his best friends Bella and Luka.  I was on the phone to the bank and he was barking desperately at the door.  Poor baby.  

I plan to make my 1 pm meeting.  

Anna is coming over to pick up the tools she forgot and bringing back the Mack computer I gave her so I can erase it. I’d forgotten the password so I may have to phone Apple to get help with that.  She took my big living room computer because though it was only a few years old it didn’t easily source the Starlink computer. 

I certainly could sort through the storage cabinets under the bus.  I did organized the clothing drawers quite well last night.  The kitchen is fine but the shower room needs sorting as well as the storage area.  I have an outdoor kitchen and tv and am considering replacing that tv too so it takes satellite source.  That can wait though.

I’m off to Ottawa and Napanee to see the new nephew and Haybay before it’s sold. I’m also picking up my boat and outboard though I could have sold that. It’s a package and I’m taking the month of May and first couple of weeks to do the journey. I’ll go through Winnipeg again. I’ve got a lot of nostalgia to cover . I think of taking this beautiful motorhome me it’s more a work trip and I figure I’m trained well on the truck and camper while this would be more of a struggle as I have to learn to drive it.  The plan is to go up to Whistler for a weekend and maybe Harrison’s. Shake down cruises.

God is personal. I have a sense that when I’m talking to God God is listening and responsive.  I believe that my existence is the best possible course of events but that I’ve set in motion many wishes over the life and that there are competing forces .  It’s not bland, this life, but nuanced.  I’d like the lottery and comfort but it’s more than that.  I am moving forward.

Time to get up and move to next station.