A perfect Saturday and lovely Weekend - Spring

The sun is bright again today. Yesterday it was warm with blue sky.  It was a blessed day.  

I loved that it began with prayer and meditation.  Then I so enjoyed the Saturday morning doctors in doctors recovery meeting. Last week was local , about once a month.  This one is international l and weekly. I like the people.   

After Madigan and I took the long Brunette Lake Walk. I was warm. Sunshine blue sky. Madigan panting.  We first saw the Canada Geese and goslings and later the wood ducks.  I’m grateful that despite my back pain with twisting I’m generally able to walk.  I’ve been riding the Harley and the position is like Dr. Goodman’s Foundation Training recommends.  Easier to do on Harley than Vespa but I just have to remember.  Slouching doesn’t do with lumbar back pain.

After we got back I left Madigan at home while I took Harley to Costco’s . I needed batteries and wanted to look at their Hearing aids.  It turns out they have a selection, all for $2200.  I want a back up pair since my very expensive Oticon pair are necessary for work. I’d like a secondary pair so I  feel better taking them with me.  

I tried selling my Harley but learned from Trev that they only take them in on trade in.  They had a lovely 2023 Trike I could see enjoying. I just don’t feel as safe on 2 wheels and find myself wanting to be cautious.,  I paid $2400 at Royal Bank on he car loan and would like to pay it down.  I’ve even had another $5000 matched for my contribution to the TFSacount last year.  I would like to put another $5000 in for this year. 

It was good to get paid and to pay my taxes and rent another month and weeks

Peter is enjoying the bike.  We’ve been walking with him and Bella and Luka.

At Costco I couldn’t resist a rotisserie chicken and would have got a lot more but I was on my motorbike . I did get more honey and orange juice and the freezer roast beef that’s microwaveable. I now have a freezer full of food and feel good when I do.

With the walk in the morning, Brunette River Walk and Costco I surpassed thee 10000 step mark. I’d been doing 8500 but now went over the top. Thank goodness. I really do have to lose weight and exercise more. It’s a catch 22 with chronic pain. You just want to relax and avoid pain but stretching and steady exercise is way better. I’m always feeling better the day after I do more exercise. With being sick with allergy and flu I spent a lot of time lying around just making the 3x a day walks with Madigan mostly for his poop breaks.  I needed the rest but my back is better with exercise.  Thank God I’m still mobile.  

I have enjoyed the couple of sex toys I picked up at One Stop Love Shop. It gives me great theological considerations.  All about masturabtion.  If I eat for survival it’s okay but then the epicurean who garnishes the food and makes a display may offend the stoic or the born again . I remember the professor in pscyhiatry saying that women are preening and into long foreplay with their lotions and bubble baths.  Men were by contrast on and off.  The orgasm was the thing.  Now there’s the whole issue of sex for children and its religious value producesing community and armies. If gays reproduce and are at least bisexual they don’t offend the community.  The Sin of Onan made much about by Victorian prudes wasn’t about masturbation at all but rather refusal to impregnant the dead brothers wife ands share he land inhearitance.  Now now most of sex isn’t about reproduction and as we’re living long lives there’s sex after menopause for women and men chasing young girls or young men or prostitution or masturbation.  

I loved the joke on Facebook about the guy who said when a girl gets a vibrator it’s though cute and a little sexy but when “I get a turbo charged life sized sex doll with self lubrication mechanical parts, I’m considered a pervert.”  Collectively men had long complained that monogamy has short changed them in the modern world.  This explains a significant percentage of the exodus to Islam of formerly Christian males or simply boyfriends of cold feminists.  Seeking sex they are shunned and the term toxic masculinity is combined with dead beat farther to shame the man while the girl is never criticized where a elder virgin a competing skank seeking a Guinness book entry for number of sexual partners in a day, 200 being the last count though 2000 is the aim.  

I am always pleased to see the handsome men and beautiful women in church. I tell the young to be church tourists and to stop at the the church with the greatest density of the beautiful. .Beauty is spiritual.  

I’m watching Battleship Gallatica in the evening and reading a Raj novel .  I deleted facebook not wanting to support the radical left wing censorship of the same ilk that has the UN chosing reactionary Muslim as head of the civil rights.  Aetheist communist and political Islam are al the rage with the continued war of Iran Israel and the US and the stopping the Strait of Hormuz.  The Ukraine war and money laundering continue and Orthodox Russia held its Victory parade despite the war being stalled on the battlefield.  

Canads is frightening with Carney one of the globalist anti Canada attacking the US and wanting to celebrate the NWO with communist China as leader.  Trudeau dished Christianity and called himself a post national.  I would like to see Pierre Polievre take over and that Iran and Cuba fall to the US like Venezuela did.  I don’t like tyranny.  Scots Whay Hay!!!  Carney with his stolen majority is acting like a tyrant and taxing everything making money for himself and Brookfields while Canadas declines and taxes rises.  

I feel poor but am not so must resist the self pity. I would like to pay off my Jeep and sell the motorcycle and camper and boat..  I’ll keep chipping away at the debt though I don’t find it hard to make payments on that and the motorhome.  It’s just me.

When I was paid yesterday I paid off the credit cards and am okay again. The only outstanding cost is the hitch for jeep and motorhome. I’m dreaming of a few weeks off in the summer and a ride to the Okanagan or Logan Lake again or Nakusp. I ‘d like to be able to swim or have a hot tub.  Maybe along the coast.  It’s just that I’d be able to take my ‘stuff’ and not be left paying for an empty spot like I have in the past or for storage of a vehicle.  I don’t’ want unnecessary costs.

I’m working steady and will feel better when I’m not envisioning working another 10 years to pay off debt. I hope to whittle things down and then pay them off sinew I have the money in the bank. But that idea of ownership is outdated as I write it off and pay half my income in taxes.  

It will all work well. I’m pleased. Was glad to be in church.  The mold was there and at first I didn’t recognize her because ironically she was so tall. She was wearing those boots that added 4 inches and Mae her long legs look great.  She’s always ‘dressed’ for church and that’s been appreciated.  There were a few girls who did the spring thing added Colour to the morning.  Madigan had a great time.  The Priest was visiting and delightful..  

Yesterday was a perfect day and today is pretty good. I agreed to be the speak at an online meeting so I’m looking forward to that be ing over.  In just a few hours I can relax.  

Thank you Jesus for this day. Thank you God. Hallelujah!!!

Monday Morning, Mid June

Laura told me she woke at 4 am.  We’d watched episodes of Rookie till 10:30 pm after the Barbecued pork chops, wild rice and corn I’d served for dinner.  

Yesterday was a good day. I attended St. Barnabus Church and enjoyed Martha’s sermon on the Trinity.  It was good to ride my Harley. I’d left Madigan home with Laura.  On the way back I’d stopped at Home Hardware to pick up 3M Command damage free hooks to hang pictures in the new Thor Hurricane motorhome.  Laura said she and Madigan has slept in.

After coffee we’d done the hour walk to the duck pond and back. I’d taken pictures of a heron and a red winged black bird.  It was a good hike.  Reading westerns and napping in the afternoon.  

The American Army 250 year anniversary coincided with President Trump’s 79 year birthday.  I thought him older but then I’ve become older. Mentally I don’t notice it but physically my back complains.  Apparently he’d watched France’s military parade with macron years past and wanted the same for America.  I enjoyed it.  Disappointingly the left Democrats tried to upstage the national event with protest riots claiming it a “no king’ day.  Ironically it appeared to be mostly retired white middle class people. ICE was rounding up and deporting illegal aliens.  I was shocked to see that in the past previous presidents had done this for 10s of millions. This is the back bone of the black market economy and obviously central to the criminal class. One notice said that $500 a day was being offerered for ‘protestors’ to march. I remember decades back when $50 was the going rate for the weekly DTES fashion march.  Soros is under investigation in Congress for funding these events that become riots.  BLM and Antifida the Marxist communist organizations have millions in funding from his ‘open borders’ , the migration movements that are providing ‘scab voters’.  

I enjoyed the military parade on uTube.  In the 60’s my attraction to Vietnam protests was principally the gorgeous women, great music and marijuana.  I suspect 90% of the crowds of the day were there for that.  We all wanted to ‘give peace a chance’ and ‘all we need is love’.  It was before the Beatles wrote ‘we don’t want a revolution’ and hypocrisy wasn’t in full swing.  Today it looked like the sort of crowd that came out for the fireworks  at the Military Parade and the Protests before the illegals and rioters took over.  I remember leaving a demonstration as it went off rail when I was younger and loved Gandhi and Martin Luther King.  This pro terrorist anti Israel Hamas backed crowd is a different kettle of fish.  

I remember Ganesh telling us that the jewel thrives that broke into his store and robbed it were a gang that travelled all over the US and Canada coinciding their one day in and out robberies on flights with riots.  Criminals are sophisticated.  I never got a 100 inch color tv at a peace rally in my day but that seems more the attraction now the only fans and legal pot have made that attraction less appealing. Certainly the lawless and illegal aliens had a major reason to want their ‘gravy train’ to continue.  Lots of motivation but not godly by any means. Peace and love had been spiritual but today it’s mostly like the Buffalo Springfield say, ‘people carrying signs, mostly say hooray for our side’.  Gordon Lightfoot’s Black Day in July is more like it but the participants seem more like ‘rebels without a cause’.  Putin described his days as a KGB agent in Europe promoting the anti war rallies to undermine the western world. I’m old enough to appreciate law and order today.

Today Laura accepted the coffee i made for her before we carried her stuff to her car.  She’s terrific coming mostly for weekends. I used to go to her place before Saipan when she lived in a suite that accepted dogs and parking downtown wasn’t such a challenge.  Now she’s been driving out to see us.  Madigan barks when she drives off waving in her red SMART car.  He really likes when we three are together, a bigger gang.  He and I are buds but Laura is his love.  He’s sleeping again.  At least we put up the picture Laura’s sister, Carolyn gave us.  It has Gilbert riding on the motorcycle with me. It personalizes the space just as the hanging of knots and nautical signs my brother Ron gave me does.

We walked around the park. I prayed.  In my mind I am asking God to help me know him and to show me the way he wishes for me today.  I felt lifted higher as I mentally expressed gratitude for Laura’s visit, the walk with Madigan, the greenery and tranquility of the park. I really like the elegance of the Thor.  I booked the long weekend in Sunshine Valley as a trial run. We plan a few weekend trips so that I’m ready for the snowbird drive south in winter to Long Beach, Fountain of Youth and Arizona.  I am really enjoying being a virtual doctor.  I like helping patients but I don’t like going into the city or even offices. For so many years I had offices in my home or on my property. Today I still see people at home but mostly work on video and phone with weekly trips for a half day to the clinic. Then when I go away to the woods or the sun I take my laptop top and ipad and iPhone with me and thanks to Starlink and cell coverage with the Oscar program I’m able to do psychopharmacology, assessment and therapy. 

The big event for me on the weekend was running out of propane so not having hot water to shower. Thanks to Propane Depot I bought the connector and was able to fill the Motorhome partially from the propane tank I have for barbecuing.  

I’m enjoying Russel Brand. I’ve followed his sobriety journey and enjoyed his Christian baptism.  He too thinks of reality as potentially a digital cyberspace product of the gaming universe of our present.  I feel the lighteners of being when I consider the space within atoms and that gravity remains controversial. Teletransportation and communication make enlightenment much more tangible.  

God is omniscient.  He’s everywhere, everything. I am God and God is all.  He’s omnipotent, all powerful.  I wake up each day with pleasure in the day.  It once was a struggle and I had horrible nightmares but today my dreams are commonly of journey and places. Increasingly I have memories of positive experiences, My perspective is lifting. I’m looking up to God.  I’m lifting my head and feeling lifted on eagle’s wings. I love that feeling and sense of expansiveness.  God is omnipresent. I meet him in the now I’d like a more articulate communication less mysterious, less the wee small voice but I know that all of my life is God’s communication and it’s good, I thought the other day that my mortgage was a partnership with the bank and rather than thinking negatively I saw this as a relationship and more evidence of positive participation.  

This week is the G7 and I’m looking forward to PM Carney making better financial decisions for Canadians so we can collectively benefit from the advances in AI and nano technology. I am thankful for the radical abundance available. I was really glad when both the US and UK back Israel attack on the terrorist regime of Iran. This is all just news.

In my personal world I felt the wind therapy that Dave and Rogina and Carolyn talk about when they get on the motorcycles and ride I do feel that on my Harley. My Vespa is so enjoyable like the best enhanced bicycle in the city but my Harley seems a country road machine and sings to me when I’m on it.  

I am grateful and so appreciate each day of sobriety and all the gifts of recovery and love of God.  Thank you Jesus.

March Spring Rains

Spring rains persist. Regular downpours and cloudy days. I am missing the sun and dessert but actually rather content to be home

The Merry Maids came today. They did a fabulous job despite Madigan supervising them with barks and growers. I took him to Macdonald’s for a burger. It allowed them into my garage office. I’d spent this weekend cleaning it up and surprisingly it just needed sorting rather than a storage locker run. I did get rid of another bag for the Diabetes foundation. Returning I was delighted by the order and cleanliness of the place.

I’ve been looking at Thor Class A motorhomes.  Ernest and Nicolina showed me there’s and I’m so impressed. It’s not as big at Peter and Larry’s Tiffany.  It about 32 feet I think, Thor Hurricane with one slide. That’s had me looking at motorhomess.  I’m seeing lots of second hand range I could afford and am sure I ‘need’ one this year.  This fifth wheel is really terrific but big and I don’t want to learn the driving skills to haul it. I’ve used tow trucks but the costs have increased.  Besides after a couple of months down south with my camper I’ve decided I’d like to be mobile. If I can’t haul this because back up into things with trailers I can get a bus and haul my mini.  I will have to find a way to put the Vespa on board though an electric bicycle will do fine.

I have an ophthalmology apt so will know if I’m likely to be driving for the next decade or so to justify getting another vehicle. I’m reminded how sad Dad was when his eyes tight went. I’m already going dreaf and am getting by in situations where I couldn’t before with the expensive hearing aids. I’m hoping this cyborg tendency will continue with the eyes and maybe better glasses will solve the problem Though it may be cataracts and more anxiety. I ‘m such a wooz when it comes to myself.  I muddle through with no choice but all I do is pray. Prayer is all I can do.

Madigan is being pretty good.  Growls at me with wagging tail.  Ripped up my new linen sheet when Laura came but really was a gentleman in church.  He was wearing his new rain coat but doesn’t like me putting it on.  

I can’t get over how much I’m liking my home again.  I’ve completely cleaned out the mouse dropping problem. It wasn’t as bad this year as when I’ve returned previous years. I got rid of any invitations and put out mouse replellants and traps though I caught none.

There’s an election in April. I’ve given money to the Federal Conservative Party, Pierre Poilevre and our local Burnaby PC candidate.  

I contacted the CMDA and asked to pay my annual dues. When they contacted me I was away so now I’ve money in the bank and time to address this. The only outstanding membership I think now is the Canadian Society of Addiction Medicine. My ISAM membership is on automatic pay. All the other memberships I believe are paid. I just seem to have been deluged since returning March 1.

It’s hard to believe how much I’ve done in 3 weeks.  A whole lot of patient calls, getting my home back, taking my camper in, and all the forms for Anil to do taxes and a weekend with Laura and Madigan getting groomed.  It’s been exhausting but now that it’s letting up I’m really pleased. This is the second Merry Maid visit and it’s just a joy to have the clean place and great smell of incense. I’ve also organized my clothing though I have more to take away.  I’ve been paid too so it’s been good to have the steady flow of work and money to maintain this all.

Also I’m really thankful for the upcoming election.  I’ve been so disheartened by Trudeau and then Carney was worse, elite communist globalist taxaholics.  I don’t like the Sharia innvsaion and the anti Christian anti Jewish attacks.  I’m concerned about aging. 

I really enjoyed Bruce Coburn.  This week, Friday, after the ophthalmologist , we have tickets to the VSO and Chopin. 

Thank you God for all your blessings. Thank you for the rain that so helps the plants and trees and flowers. Thanks you for cleaning ladies. Thanks you for Kevin who will fix the camper with the insurance folk.  Thank for Kelvin who keeps this unit function and will replace the toilet in the camper before I take it to Nappeanee after the first week of May. It’s only a month and some away.  Amazing. I’ve a tight schedule with the IDAA  Spokane conference in July and international AA convention here in July.

I enjoyed going to St. Barnabus Church with Madigan who was a perfect gentleman

I loved getting steaks and pork chops and sausages for Laura and me for her visit .  When she’s here next time I’ll have to order chinese or me and Ed’s’ pizza.  

I bought a bread maker and had to make three loaves before I got it right. The yeast was the issue.  All three tasted great but the third one rose and looked like a good loaf.

I’ve made a couple of pounds of roast Ethiopian beans in the roaster. I had a lot of green beans so great to get them roasted. I’ve really enjoyed the taste.  

I’ve written a couple of chapters on my Addiction book. Must continue.

I’ve walked Madigan three or four times a day. Away I was able to make 10,000 steps but back I’ve been doing 4000 steps. On the weekend we had a River walked.  Great blue heron sighting. One by the little river rapids and another standing on a blank overlooking the river. I ‘ve fasted a couple of days since return. I am overweight and must lose weight if only to ease the back pain.

I am reading King Authro series , Bernard Cornwell. Enemy of God. Last year I enjoyed his Stonehenge book. I completed the Oxford course , Archeology Prehistory, Ritual and Religion.  I actually got 10 CAT points thanks to Adell and Aim.  I was overwhelmed with court work in the course despite my trying to clear the scheduled . I plan to do another course next year on mysticism and spirituality.  I’ve no time this year but I love the learning. I’ve got the course load for the CME with IDAA and I want to do the Pacific psychopharmacology course that’s held in November. I’ve a CME Doctors of BC speciality meeting and with my mentoring I’m definitely sufficiently active despite my age. I’m doing elational work for George with the Wednesday group so not isolateing. 

I really am blessed and thankful. God is good all the time. Thank you Jesus. 

 

A good Sunday

When I woke up this morning I wasn’t feeling particularly good having dreamed of receiving three cigarette and 2 joints and looking forward to using them. The so called ‘using dream’. I didn’t partake but I was full of bygone delight.  A kind of hang over. I’m coming up on 25 years clean and sober and find every year during this month of June I have a difficult times.

I felt like I had a day ahead and literally nothing to do. I was reminded of those summer holiday days as a kid of 10 or 11 when I’d be bereft of ideas about what to do and actually ask my mother. She’d naturally come up with chores and I’d escape on my bike. I suspect she was wise enough to know what she was doing. I used to bike everywhere as a kid. I supposed I could load Madigan on the motorcycle and we could go off exploring. 

Instead I decided after coffee to get ready for church. I decided to dress as Amber and just accept cross dressing as part of my nature.  I’ve cross dressed for church before. I understand my cross dressing mechanic patient who dressed as drab for working on his car’s engine.  Jeans and t shirt.  Church is a dress up occasion and I did enjoy getting ready. Nothing spectacular. I was ready in less than 45 minutes and with Madigan made the drive to church in 15 minutes. We actually arrived on time as the church was full and I think they must have started a few minutes late.  

I loved the service. I love baptism services and at least 2 little girls were baptised.  Madison was well enough behaved and I was thankful for that. He’s learning.

After church I returned home.  

I changed and went for a hot tub and swim. Three adults were enjoying the pool but the hot tub was free so I did enjoy that.  As they 2 women and a man didn’t seem to be leaving the pool anytime soon I chose to leave after a good time in the heat. I’d sun tanned yesterday and had a little rose colour on the skin that carried a little sting, not unpleasant but just enough to remind me I’d had some sun for the first time this year.

Then I took Madigan for a long walk by the river, passing our Rainbow bridge and doing stretches along the way at the fences. It was walk to the green generator and I was content with the exercise. Madison as ever was ready to return.

Back home I’ve been chatting with Laura on Signal. 

I was considering a course at Oxford but none really appealed.  However I went over to Trinity College and joined Futurelearn again. I’d signed up but never done the Culture of Ireland course, something I may come back to. This time though I did a week of the 4 week book of Kell’s course and thoroughly enjoyed it. 

I’d been fasting all day but now have decided white spot fish and chips with a burger for Madigan is a great idea. I’ve not eaten some 18 hours so that’s definitely a healthy break and fish and chips is calling. I’m riding the Harley over. They said it was going to be 20 minutes so I made this note.

What there fore turned out to be a blasé day has been perked up by Church and a river walk and and an hour of a most interesting lecture series. I did a medical course for credit yesterday and feel better.  

Thank you Jesus. 

  

Free Will ,Determinism, Synchronicity, St. Barnabus and Gilbert

Since moving to Burnaby I’ve been a church tourist. I’ve attended all the ones close to me and yesterday I saw St. Barnabus Church in my travels. My friend named his fine son Barnabus so I appreciate the Biblical significance of this less common reference.  Today the rain from inside was kind of depressing as a harbinger of Vancouver Eastern Rain Forest deluge that often goes on months.  We don’t have the snow of the east but there there’s sunshine and endless sky.  Here is mountains and clouds so it’s somewhat closed in, at times claustrophobic..  Church is an antidote with it’s inspiration and uplifting community association. To quote Third Day, we can ‘soar like eagles’.

So today I looked at the website and saw the St. Barnabus Church is holding the blessing of the pets, a St. Francis of Assisi tradition.  Gilbert my cockapoo, the best dog ever, was blessed by the Bishop of the Anglican Church here. We’re not sure it took since his interest in dogs genitals of either sex and his interest in their butts and the butts of cats and butts generally,  hasn’t changed.  We insist that this is perhaps the genetics of the French poodle as it certainly can’t come from the English cocker spaniel lineage.  

Gilbert comes to church with me as he comes to work . I’ve always picked places of work and church on their welcoming him.  I’m only modestly more upright in behaviour so he’s my ‘canary’ so to speak socially.  If people object to a little dog they’re soon object to me. 

Now these points, passing the church yesterday and it’s welcoming dog’s today, two ‘coincidences’ in my life seem to me to be synchronistic.  Dr. Carl Jung described the synchronistic as subjective experiences which to an outside observer would appear as coincidences.  The ‘objective’ observer sees events as ‘disconnected’ ,as was common in the ‘age of rationalism’ and the idea of disconnected objects in space. That was the now defunct ‘scientific materialism’ that still plagues those who ‘want the facts and nothing but the facts’.  The courts are still full of them but the science labs simply moved onto multi dimensional universes and quantum physics and the observer and observed interacting. 

If a butterfly flaps its wings in China there is a breeze here in North America.  Everything is ‘interconnected’.  Just because we don’t see the wind doesn’t mean that it’s not there. Like the proverbial 7 points of ‘connection’ in societies.  

I’m reading Niall Ferguson’s latest book, The Square and the Tower, (Networks and power, from Freemasons to Facebook) all about human interconnectedness.   Up to the. Magic Number of 150 about men and women can function as a society with limited structure because they mostly know and have contact with each other. (Sapiens, A brief history of humankind by Yuval Harari)  Beyond 150 there has historically been a need for formal governmental and organizational structures, each of which competes with others through commerce and war.   As Dr. Jordan Peterson speaks eloquently about there’s always this balance between chaos and order.

I love the Gospel of St. John, ‘In the beginning was the Word, and the word was with God.....’

The Hindus might say that sound was ‘om’ while the scientists might call it ‘bang’.   The mathematics of music is as exciting as the harmonics and how the arrangements of sound affect our mood and health. Music Therapy is just one application but for me there is the issue of vibration and the String Theory. The uniqueness of an individual elements by it’s ‘sound’.  All of these are interconnected in the ‘ONE ‘.  I love the music in church the reciting together and singing together in community. It’s not about performance but rather about community. 

So in church we gather as a community for prayer , praise and thanksgiving.  Prayer is simply talking to the One and Thanksgiving and Praise are simply positive celebration. Politics by contrast to religion seems predominantly to be negative and critical and I have never had much truck with the judgemental, God as scornful angry condemning.  I rather think of God as ‘HOME’.  The tides of my life go out and in like breathing.

So believing the world to be sacred and that the energy that is between all is best called ‘love’ and that which separates us is ‘fear’ I love to ‘meditate’ in church, ‘listening in community’ for guidance and presence. It’s a mystical place touched by hundreds of thousands minds and hearts and souls over often hundreds and sometimes thousands of years. I love the ‘choice’ of place for a church and the changed atmosphere of that place by so many worshiping there. I feel the difference between the places of war and the places of worship.  

Now because there are billions of people and trillions of beings consciousness, a decision, results in ripples and flows and conflict because we’re all not standing miles apart in an open field but rather huddled together on a subway. If I want to change my position or direction there’s all those around me.  We can do it of course with huffing and puffing and pushing and such.  Then a new flow is created.  But it’s not just ‘me’ doing things.

In 12 step programs they say G.O.D. Is  ‘Good Orderly Direction’ because the alienating effect of the zombism of drugs and alcohol in excess results in aberrant behaviour that the adults about must accommodate to adjust to. As people mature they feel the community and need for community and realize they are simply not alone as adolescents feel they are especially with the heady experience of first drunk on lust, fame, booze, or drugs. 

So I’m ‘called’ to church in my mind. Gilbert is welcome and we’re having the feeling that St. Barnabus might well be the answer for a prayer for now.  I’m inspired to get off the couch and go out in the rain, today,  on a Sunday to participate with my fellow humans in a transcendent ritual and feel the communion.  This is sharing bread and grape juice or wine with others as Jesus, our Lord and Savior, did at the Last Supper which beget the endless communion of God and Man in a cosmic consciousness and an unconscious dance made conscious in the shared experience. 

Hallelujah!