Showing posts with label sexuality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexuality. Show all posts

Monday, July 29, 2024

Olympics Drag Queen Parody of the Last Supper

The Drag Queen Parody of the Last Supper of Jesus Christ at the opening ceremony of the Olympics was deeply offensive. The ‘apology’ was worse with the dissembling explanation that the central character was meant to be Dionysius, God of wine,  orgies and delusions  not Jesus Christ,God of Truth.  The insincere ‘apology’   was confirmation of the nefarious intent of the vulgar spectacle. It was an attack on Christianity and to suggest it was anything but intentional. deepens the deceit. 

It had nothing to do with LGBT or sexuality as a whole. Gay priests are as equally  offended by this attack on their religion and church.  I can’t even see Bishop Spong laughing.  The radical display was merely divisive and sordidly aggressive. Like taking a shit on your grandmother’s living room carpet. Then trying to ‘explain’ it  The Olympics have celebrated LGBT in the past. Drag queens were highly present in the Sidney Olympics and welcome.  This was different. The devil is clearly in the details. This is France where the aetheist communist minority are vying to take control of the country.  The Vichy French are alive and well as evidenced by the revival of antisemitism and anti Christianity. 

The arrogance and ignorance of the open aggression of the passe’theatre was cheap. The world now sees aetheism as the religion of communism. Aetheists have killed hundreds of millions in the last century or so.  That makes the century older killings by Christians and Catholics look like the work of choir boys. The rise of communism again in Europe after Stalin’s attack on France, the Berlin Airlift,  the aetheist murder of so many French in Vietnam is not forgotten.  The Gulags of USSR are replaced now by the communist chinese slave prisons of the Urghers. The Nazi’s were Neo pagan. The Olympic paganism display was decidedly more Nazi than Greek. Charlie Hebdo , the French satirist had been murdered by Muslims a mere 10 years ago. The parody was anti Christian. 

Were the Last Supper Parody inclusive as argued, the cowardly producers would have included Mohammed in pink tutu drag at very least. .  Maybe if they’d have had Mao naked embracing Lenin in an orgiastic threesome with Kim it would have been ‘funny’.  The Book of Mormon is satire at its finest with rapier wit rather than the bludgeoning stupidity of this Last Supper Parody.  Maybe  the wink of an apology would have been okay if they’d thrown in some rainbow turbaned Siks.  Maybe they could have shown Buddha in black fishnet stockings  rutting with a unicorn horned lavender Ganesh.   Maybe then it would be as ‘funny’ as holding up the severed head of the child of a politician. No one would have minded the severed head of the politician but the severed head of the politicians child was so tasteless by comparison.  If it had been Chelsea would Hillary have found it funny.  It all really could have been just satire.  Then a sorry we are stupid,  low brow and offensive French might have sufficed.   

But no, this was a direct attack on all Christians but especially Catholics. It was intensional and attempted to usurp the Olympics for a peevish political agenda. Saying ‘get a room’ isn’t so much censorship , I am libertarian and believe wholly in freedom of speech and presentation.  However, you can’t always play your bagpipes  in the church or  library no matter how much we believe bagpipes are the most Godly and educational of musical instruments.   

A weak apology and denial of accountability is so common of Maoist guerilla tactics. so effective against the French Foreign legionaries, the Pride of France. The strategy is to have an all out attack and if there is significant response, rapid retreat.  Sorry. We’re sorry.  Didn’t really mean to offend by raining on your parade or disrupting your wedding.    Perhaps what is needed is a parody of the artistic directors and organizers, employing the guillotine, that great French symbol, followed  with a weak ‘sorry’ ,  Sorry we didnt me an to offend. We’re just stupid and overpaid.      

Thankfully Lady Gaga and Celine Dion along with all the other performances and atheletes were so far above those who would ‘steal the stage’ for their one trick pony peeve. The real  show went  on. The Olympics ironically are supposed to  celebrates peace not communist divide and conquer or pagan war and revenge porn. Secular events include the religious and irreligious, the washed and unwashed, the barbarians and the civilized.    Putting the delirious woke aside I really did enjoy the beach volley ball and women’s fencing that opened the real worames.

The Eiffel Tower bought by the blood of the British  who died on beaches of Dunkirk makes a spectacular back drop for this incredible Olympic games. 





Wednesday, June 5, 2024

Unpacking Transexual History

I am enjoying Transgender History by Susan Stryker which focuses mostly on developments in America from mid twenties century to today.  It’s shocking that as late as 1963 cross dressing was against the law.  Based on that, the whole country except perhaps the Amish would be deemed illegal today.  I did enjoy the advances in language proposed and the history of these developments starting perhaps with German doctor. Hirshfeld and progressing to his student Benjamin’s designations. Sexuality is biological but gender is psychological and social role is a third distinction.  I don’t know why there has been such confusion in the media where people are arguing that Gender trumps genetics. 
As a physician myself I am always shuffling the hierarchy.  A fractured leg is important but secondary in an emergency to the heart stopping. When we have enough people we address multiples but alone in the emergency at night I had priority.  So Sex, Gender and Social Role have precedence in context and time.  
I just finished Before we were trans: A new history of gender by Dr. Kit Heyam PH.D and enjoyed the broader, global and more ancient historical perspective. That book addressed trans gender experience in history and other cultures and makes a rather strong case for the non binary through time with clear distinctions of sex and gender and role that were extremely offensive to early western traders and conquerors.  I appreciated this because coming from Celtic or Indo European heritage I never grasped the chauvinism so entrenched in the East, Middle East and Meditarrean world.  
My mother and father didn’t have the relationship taht is so comic strip radical feminism.  Mom was primary in the home and dad went out into the world to serve the family.  He was a powerful man but always with a few memorable exceptions, worked together with mom as a team, cooperative and respeccful of ‘domains’ that would change with illness and time. I have always defended women’s rights at great personal cost on many occasions and respect that Jewish women and Italian women and Iranian and Nigerian women have had major struggles.  Canada obviously was until the last decade a leader in women’s rights and I believe that came from the Celtic and Indo European history of the origins. As for aboriginal tribal relationships there were actual matriarchies and patriarchies by tribe.  There is no doubt that Russia, Saudi Arabia and China are patriarchies but Ireland and Indian according to anthropologists are more matriarchal.  It’s all mute though when one can no more dissect society and family than one can the human body.  That tendency to intellectualize in parts is not the organic and interconnected as reality. Indeed the lack of wholistic perspective is central to the failure of Marxist grossly outdated and often barbaric thinking.  OF course he was a chauvinist and lived in a society celebrating male dominance. 
I don’t like the Marxism that permeates a lot of the transgender and LGBT history with the language of “oppression’ knowing that Communism is a religion of perpetual war that aims to increase dissent in the groups it targets as stated by Putin of his highly funded KGB days infiltrating the Peace Movement groups to benefit the Communists fighting American in the Vietnam war.  Yet even West Point studies the revolutionary tactics of Communism because of their success in reducationism polarization and mobilization of peasants and un educated willing to worship and follow second class elite.  Lenin, and his family, unable to gain status in the elite world about the Czar went on to destroy rather than create killing the Czar who had killed his brother.  Mao has similar persona vendettas against his enemies and very successfully uses the primitive ideology of ‘them and us” as EE Cummings would describe with it’s words of war like ‘oppression’ to gather a proxy army who falsely believes that leadership cares about them.  As Voltaire said. Steal a little and they put you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king’.  
That said the politics of change says that there needs to be a Black Panther movement for the ruling class to listen to Martin Luther King.  The moderate is only chosen when there the alternative is disdainful.
So these two histories challenge any idea that everyone is black or white.  The world is shades of grey in the whole with progress made by forward backward movements and compromise.  Before we were trans with its historic and cultural examples is a powerful a denouncement of the idea of absolutes. I found both books together making a cogent argument for the courts especially to move from the 19th century to the 21th century and personally appreciated the concepts of inclusivity and exclusivity reading these books.  There’s a balance and juggling act between too loose and too tight.  Obviously one doesn’t want to be so closed minded nothing gets in or out or so open minded all the marbles fall out. My biological training makes me appreciate the flexible membrane which it’s ATP controlled permeability. I object to those who insist there should be no walls but live in massive gated communities and tell others to do as they say not as they do.  The hypocrisy in politics is so objectionable.
Stryker does a marvellous job of discussing the attack by radical lesbians and homosexuals on the queer and the transgendered who’d often been the ‘shock troops’ of social change at flashpoints like Dewy’s, Compton and Stonewall.  They are comfortable and middle class in their acceptance now and fearful of change no different from the mainstream heterosexual.child based family communities that resisted change.  
I’m still reading Strykker’s book and learning  more in depth about developments that I personally participated in as I was in the civil rights movements and had close contact with the LGBT community as a dancer and actor and in my personal journey. It’s easy to demonize’ the ‘other’ but not so easy when they are family or ‘yourself’. When I studied Hebrew and learned that ‘infinity’ was a mistranslation of Biblical Arabic it was easier to appreciate a ‘loving God’s since one only went to hell for a ‘long time’ and certainly my own life had periods like this.  Jesus was crucified and went to hell to establish his rule.  This was days not eons and the study of history is the study of time which is not as simple as one thought thanks to Einstein and Schodingers and modern physics.  Subjective and objective are dichotomies which get mixed up in the transexual history just as I encountered when I trained in community medicine after family practice and surgery. What was goof for the group especially considering scarcity of resource might not be best for the individual. Indeed the real problem was in the realm of corruption and privilege and issues of ‘fairness’ or even ‘justice’.  
Now frankly I’ve muddled along in my life and appreciate others do the same so I really appreciate the history of struggle of those who didn’t win the lottery with a Rockwell childhood and family and a calm disposition.  I spend all day working with marginal ,different or the elite with little joy in their latest acquisition,  I’m curious that way.  
These books are so much more informative than social media and fascinating when one strips away the anger and fear and drops the word ‘oprresion’ because the Beatles recognise revolution only serves the revolutionaries most but without pressure the elite will not give an inch and we will see the kind of rot that begins in stationary entrenched societies that won’t grow in awareness and acceptance.  I still think of Turing and what he gave and how we returned his gift.   At that level I certainly am ‘inclusive’ and weary of those who want mirrors and judge anyone different from themselves. As a Christian I appreciate that Jesus was more radical than Gandhi  or Buddha but Herod was more like Mao and Mohammed.  I ‘m a left over hippy saying Make Love not war and enjoyed that a Transsexual protest solagan of the 70s’ Fuck don’t fight’. .  I believe we need war and peace but that the balance is off.  These books are great reads .
Addendum: I finished the Stryker book only to be disappointed by the last chapters and conclusion of book. It devolved into a radical leftist political rant. So sad given the pre Obama history. Critical of Clinton and Trump it devolved into the politics now a decade back and about individuals and events that are strictly a partisan bubble. After Jenner it really lost me and it was disheartening given the earlier work.
  

Friday, May 31, 2024

Trans

I am enjoying the audio book, Before we were trans, a new history of gender by Ktt Heyam.  It begins with the dissecting of gender assigned at birth (ex AFAB or AMAB) and then looks at the fluidity of gender in different cultures and different times.
I’m sensitized to this as an old hippy. Long hair was gay and the Beatles long hair was obscene to many in my parents generation fresh from the wars when men fought with crew cuts not so much an expression of gender as a prevention of lice and better fit for helmets.  I was called gay when I supoorted women wearing pants to school, a huge scandal in my school in which I was roundly vilified.  It was a time when women wore skirts and skirts represented feminity.  Such silliness diddn’t consider Roman Legionaries or Scottish Highland Warriors.  
The great song of my youth was ‘are you a boy or are you a girl with your hair like that you look like a girl’.  When I got into a fisticuff with a redneck looking for a fight and too full of beer my ‘long hair’ like the Beatles of the day was hardly over the ears, executive cut for today.  
I enjoyed therefore this book reminding us of the absurdities of gender laws through the years..  Men wearing coloured vests scandalously gay while women wearing short hair was obviously a sure sign of a woman being lesbian, I think of my poor elderly mother cutting her hair because managing her glorious long red hair , fond memories from my child, was just too much trouble in her late 80’s . I fear she’d be aghast if she was accused of late age lesbianism but historically this would be true ,  Men wearing jewelry was suspect especially more than one earring.
Now what’s fascinating is that in other  cultures gender hasn’t been as reductive as it has in western patriarchy.  I was most interested in the separation of gender and sexuality. A role in Angola was masculine but it could be held by a woman until the patriarchal Portuguese invaded and subjected the country to th catholic patriarchy of the day.  Women holding these masculine ‘roles’ were evicted from their jobs as an ideas of female inferiority was introduced.
Recently there’s been a spate of chauvinist humor directed at world leaders like Trump as the female patter of Putin and Trudeau as the bitch of Singh.  I tend to think of trans as gender and sexuality despite knowing that 90% of ‘cross dressers’ are heterosexual , mostly married and not interested in men.  
The author also points out the history bisexuality where leaders female and male are historically known to have had sex with the other but it’s not affected their ‘gender’ assignment. Alexander a notorious bisexual is never depicted as such an is gender queer. His maleness is  never in doubt.  This is because the chauvinist patriarchy demands the greater world leader be male and heterosexual .  So bisexuality  is downplayed.
 Hitler’ s murder of the gays along with Jews as discussed in the classic ‘Pink Swaztika,was not of the ‘discrete’ gays but rather the ‘feminine’ .  The macho men are this,  like prison ‘top’s who will kill you for calling them gay or a bitch.  “I fuked men’ but I was never fucked.  I ‘let fairies suck my divk but I never sucked dick’.  The Mexican police I met insisted they has so much ‘Sex’ they needed to have sex with men and women because they were so male. Sexuality and gender were not necessarily linked. Yet in different cultures gender is linked to spirituality.

The book unpacks this ideas separating gender from sex and role, considering it academically with fascinateing examples from history. I just listened to the story of Ann Lister, a famous early last century lesbian whose fault was her fashion more than her sexuality. She apparently dressed in clothing more from 5hemlikes of Mountain Equipment Coop than Holt Renfrew because  liked to hike with her girlfriends. Male attire though scandalous was  more appropriate for the climbing.  

I’m here on Commercial and seeing the whole kaboodle of gender expression.  Personally I’ve painted males and earrings .  But then at one time men shaving was considered feminine.  I like that Jesus apparently had long hair without the aquiline nose. The dandies of the Elizabethan court were frowned upon because they washed .

I think my poor dog who was groomed yesterday must be seen as gay today. .  He is really omnisexual  being discouraged frequently from humping Laura’s leg, boy and girl dogs and pillows.  Humans are a funny lot. Too band wanker isn’t a gender category.

Sex is biological and genetic. 

The judgemental are amusing. I loved reading the Golden Bough of Frazer which describes the need for a community to be the same for difference could  lead god to cause floods or droughts. When people dont know which red berry causes death or which snake venom is deadly then stereotypical behaviour is safe.  Primitive society is extremely fearful repetitive  and superstitious. There is no doubt that sameness may lead to longevity of centuries. Tried and proved. Mainstream. Not bad and certainly a common template for raising the young.   The obsession with rules is what is needed to appease the Gods.  

As a Christian I know Jesus was a good guy. I don’t feel such fondness for St. Paul. Alot of themOld Testament as history is little different than the murderously  barbariaric Koran.  

Madigan and I had fun having a mexican lunch with Laura on Davie street. She’s noted that the once young gay street is now much more populated by older gay male couples .I told her she was definitely gorgeous and voluptuous, with pink nails and sparkling sandals .  She liked my the multi colour glass frames. Today they would just be considered trendy and far too square for Elton John. My rugby playing woman I know  delights in gowns and pears when she goes out to concerts.. My other  female friend changes to black jeans and black tshirt when she works on her truck engine,

I feel less than because I’m not a macho man with  a safe certainty.  Like many men who were sexually abused I feel identification with the aggressor who considered my youth at the time feminine and his being a chauvinist partricarchal predator saw me as a hole in the mattress.  There’s been an effort to address pedophilia, sexual abuse of children and serious questions about man boy ‘love’. Meanwhile a girl from  Iran told me peoophilia was normal for the Ayatola and his fellow clergy. Their approach to pedohilia is way behind the Catholic Church and the education system here in Canada which have been exposed and vetted unlike parliament and congress. 

I often comment on the Khan gene that suggest his brother and he had many hundred of thousand of mates, A one man rape of the sabines  Certainly the Unwillingness of Biden an Trudeau and others like the British royal family to let out the Epstein list shows that pedophilia is enmeshed in the leadership in Washington, Ottawa, London, 

Also I’d trust a pillow with my dog than anyone or anything with Xi Jin Ping in Beijing.  If Putin did anything untoward inecrophilia would follow. Indo Europeans and celts popularized the family while South African success was having as many cattle and wives as possible. Trudeau lowered the age of consent for bestiality as obviously that would get him more liberal votes.The silliness of multi culturalsm is the homogeneity and ethnocentric who project their own ignorance  on the world .  Thank God for the Darwin awards.

I was criticized by a woman doctor administrator who never realized what a butch bitch she was when I explained the Berkeley gender sexuality scale that had hard wired homosexuals and hard wired heterosexuals who on questioning would rather die than have sex with other.  Meanwhile the majority of people were opportunistic with a middle bisexuality blip. . The test results  reminded me of the great movie scene where the man asked the woman would you have Sex with me for a million dollars an she answerd, I’dconsider it . Then he asked,  what about for a dollars.  She sthen said what do you take me for. ‘He responded  , well that’s established I’m just dickering for price.

I’m enjoying the book because it’s expanded my ideas of gender and made a place for the Mad Mollies of Ireland , the female soldiers and others but most importantly that it separates the ‘chauvinist patriarchal’ idea of the woman and transwoman as inferior.  Dirty.  I think of myself as that.  I mostly think of my self as less than because I’m not a father and the only baby I had was aborted.  That’s a whole other history. 

Before genetics and viagra a king could still be king if his knight was happy to pregnante the queen.  Not so today.  Confusing complex times when so many are anxious and afraid . 






Madigan was so happy to see Laura today demanding her whole attention, He was jumping up and down between us that I let her go without hugging her.  I miss hugging her.  

Getting old is unmanly too.  


Wednesday, January 4, 2023

Tar, the movie

Tar, the movie, starring Cate Blanchett ,is  described as a psychological drama. It is that and much much more. Kate Blanchett’s portrayal of Lydia Tar, the world renown director of the Berlin Orchestra,  the movie’s principal  protagonist, is truly brilliant.  Todd Field’s directing is exquisitely all about timing, a central theme in this profound critique and insight of art and modern times.
I can’t say I’ve seen such a deep and disturbing film since the early works of John Malkovitch.  First Todd Field’s writing explores the old world meaning  of ‘success and status’.  There’s the class of classics with the order and profundity of century old Bach with the whimsical new composer. All is played out with Tar teaching an arrogant young man her idea of art, not just technique but the ‘channeling’ so to speak of the original composer’s meaning.  What is the ‘cover’?  
 The young music student whose obvious sensitivity and disability is portrayed by his physical anxiety arrogantly argues for his own « identity politics » as ‘non binary’ discounting Bach as cis gender and irrelevant.  He could be discounting another artist for being left handed or Cuban, the issue again, appears to be about sexuality, but is much more and Lydia Tar’s response goes to the essence of the artist in community versus the artist as masturbator. 
I confess I heard the ominous toppling John A. Macdonald,  Canada’s founding father’s, statue one of hundred of great works of art subsumed  in recent years by the pride and hubris of ‘cancell culture’ ,the radical aetheists equivalent of the art destroying radical Muslim, Taliban., the present’s ‘Bonfire of the Vanities’ in the repeat performance of Mao’s disastrous ‘cultural’ revolution,   Lydia Tar’s response to this arrogance is resounding.  Meanwhile  it is all filmed illegally and deceitfully on iPhone only to be edited and uploaded as a modern propaganda art on behalf of the ‘victim’ the young narcissist ‘villain’ or ‘savior’ of the film.  A life time of hard work and discipline and dreams that began in America is smashed in the modern Blitzkrieg of the new Nazi smugness. 
Tar’s on sexuality which in the past might well have been of matter is now however lost in her ‘personhood’ .The failure of ‘love’ for her partner and her child reflects her self centereness and behaviour, all the same as the Mad Men leadership of the ‘shakers and makers’,  isn’t the issue,  but rather her ‘lack of communication’.  Her own pride and hubris and narcissism are exposed in the centre of her own great love, this microcosm within the microcosm.  
And of course the question arises, does she love or does she just ‘use’ people? Indeed the movies challenges the whole interpretation of the stark contrasting Marxist reductionist models of the glib narrative production and destruction.  Todd Field and Cate Blanchett along with the extraordinary acting of all the cast literally visually reflect on the harmony and dis chord of great composition.  This is so beyond politics and foot ball fields and war and deep in the world of counterpoint and colour.
Reality and art are challenged in the contrast of the audience of tuxedos and gowns, glitter and ref carpet, with the audience of cosplay, animals characters and costume.  There’s a seriousness and self centered ness which is now exposed in the ‘channeling’ of the audience as ‘masked’.  Profound doesn’t do justice to the depth of this genius of a movie, writing,direction and cast.  It is all about us seeing the dircctor’s face rather than just their back as they mirror lead and follow the musicians, 
I love Lydia as she struggles within the personal transformation of love and lust, judged not for sexuality but rather for her ‘abuse of power’ and lack of ‘kindness’.  Unlike any movie I’ve seen in recent years the simple failure of main character is to ‘love thy neighbour’, ‘be kind’. Blanchett does the amazing job by expression and tone to convey the subtleties of appearance and reality.  
Is Lydia Tar a ‘villain’? Personally I see her as on the ‘Hero’s » path that Campbell and Jung discussed.  She’s becoming human and greatness has just brgun.  It begins in the Third world where the fertility of the young is manifesting as the decay of European young is exposed.   

Friday, July 8, 2022

Life and cleaners

Cleaners are coming today. Merry Maids.  Strangers coming into Madigan and my space. It’s exciting. I love being clean. I loved last year when post covid a couple came for a day and cleaned the floors and got the dirt behind things.  I loved when I had a cleaning lady once a month before covid.  It’s wonderful.  But the clutter here concerns me. I’m due for a trip to the storage locker. I’d like to minimalize. I’d like to be able to stow everything in an hour and be on the road. But right now this is a home. I’ve no intention of leaving now. I image though if it was less chaotic I might get it together to be able to tow.  I think next year maybe but then I also think trade this in for a road version. My little house becoming a bus.  A complete overhaul of dreams. Last year I was all set to trade in my harley and then I enjoyed it again and my strength improved. This year I love the Harley.  
But the camper remains in Limbo with the evil machinations of Frazerway RV and insurance companies.  I carry on.  I called a lawyer but he’s not returned my calls.  
This is the world of post covid, delays and shortage of staff and lack of local parts.  Transportation and communication problems
I should be simply grateful. It’s sunny. It’s summer. I have a “reasonably happy life’.  I know joy. I have th comfort of a cute companion Madigan who ever day grows more adorable and endearing.
I wonder what to do when I grow ups. I am technically post retirement but this life I’m leading is fulfilling. I can continue to do as I’m doing.  One day at a time I celebrated 25 years clean and sober Aiming for 30 now. I’m 70 but feel like 40 except my back which feels a hundred at times. This week it’s been much better. I called a Tai Chi school and am on their books for their next in person courses.  I’ve been swimming more. I need to exercise and stretch more. I’m seen Dr. Ready the chiropractor tomorrow.  That helps.  I’m less anxious about my back. Mina and Lydia have leased my psychosis.  No spine cancer.  Stretching in bed before getting out prepares me for the crush of gravity standing.  I suppose it’s significant I have an old spinal fracture. I’ve been through a lot. My life has been a grand adventure. Today I naturally look at the lack of children and dwell on the negative of the abortion and the cruelty of women and the abuse by men.  Here I am today though blessed with moments of joy and all the manure of the past has given rise to the flowers in my garden.
I’m faced still with what will I do when I grow up.
1. My boat is set to sail the Great Lakes or go down the inside passage to the Caribbean. I’d like that.  
2. I’m a virtual doctor and I enjoy that.  I like virtual reality especially for psychopharmacology. I feel like a Lordco parts guy. I know what is best and have this knowledge though I miss the psychoanalytic psychotherapy and hypnotherapy and general medicine diagnostics. I imagine that I’d like to develop a teaching blog on utube perhaps.
3. I’ve three books well in progress and would love to sit in libraries again with my dog and have access to the books and my ipad. I’d love an editor.  I’ve all this ‘data’ and yet I’m less motivated to put it into a ‘form’. I’ve lots of material.  
4 I imagine writing and travelling. I’d thought to do that with the camper.  Write a couple of hours a day and drive a couple of hours a day and hang out a couple of hours a day.  I wanted to see the history of the US>
5. I thought to travel to South America. I could have done that with the camper or on my motorcycle.  I can’t take Madigan on my motorcycle
6.  I thought to have a sex change I just want breasts and to wear dresses and present as an eccentric entity. I don’t want bottom surgery. I just want the different identity, But I don’t particularly like gay people . They are so liberal and ready to be offended and so angry so often. I am afraid of LGBT people often though I have individual friends an I have patients I enjoy but overall I find them ‘prickly’.   There’s certainly some adventure but a lot of narcissism .  I rather like the mundane by comparison.  Perhaps its competition. I’m he unusual one in most crowds.  I don’t vy for the spot light but don’t enjoy the Pride and drama but I like the acceptance of sexuality and diversity.
7. I don’t want to be a monk but I want to continue my spiritual journey. I think of Laura and I and our mutual love of God and our fun under the sheets and I simple enjoyment of life together. She likes my love of church’s and art and I enjoy when we are on the road with the dog. She has this whole other life and is winding down whereas frankly I’m winding up.  I’ve served in work for decades and now I’d like self care, retirement as a new adventure. I imagine I’m good for  another 30 years and she’s talking like she’s not here for another 10. I was thinking of going back to university and formalizing my theology degree. On a bad day I think of getting a law degree.
8. I am looking forward to the cleaners and the organization imposed.  It’s a beginning.  

Thank you Jesus.  YESHU.





Wednesday, March 2, 2022

Birthday Dream

I was fighting a great boa constrictor. I assumed it was a metaphor.  It was as tall as me and I was wrestling to keep the head away from my face. I assumed it was a metaphor.  It was my snake I’m sure, But I’d been left it by someone I thought a friend but it was all I could do to keep control of it. 
I thought of Jacob wrestling with God. 
I thought of a time decades before when I was faced with a writhing mountain.  There was an eruption and the whole peninsula was breaking off and mudslides were occurring, Two mad cap  friends were riding in a motorcycle and sidecar off to the east laughing hysterically.  
I was dumbdtruck and probably afraid at the mass of snakes rising up from the earth. It reminded me of when I as a child nearly a youth and I was running and jumping from rocks to rocks and found myself surrounded in a huge snake pit going a city block and I kept momentum and jumping or I’d have fallen in,  They were probably garter snakes but they could have been rattlers. It was southern Manitoba and I was alone and successfully skillfully leapt  from one rock to another till I’d cleared them
“This isn’t right,” I said to a friend who I did not see but sat in the room witnessing me wrestling with the snake. Because it seemed attached to me I couldn’t put it in a jar .   I felt too I couldn’t let go of the thing or it would escape and drag me away.
“The friend agreed, “That isn’t right”.  
I woke then thinking of my dog Madigan who had been having such difficulties with adolescence before we left him. 
 I felt my genitals and they were were unchanged, limp and like a large worm but clearly not the powerful snake in my dreams. 
My back hurt, a sharp pain at the base of my spine, as I swung my legs and sat up  
There seemed such a disconnect between the great hard writhing snake of my dream and the penis between my legs which reminded me of the penis I saw in the national gallery the other day, there between the legs of Jesus as a child in one painting and another the penis of the child Saint John. 
I realized I was in a new day. It was my birthday . I was a seventy old nan and I was still wrestling with the old equation.  
I looked at the lovely woman in bed with me but asleep and dead to the world. I wondered as I had so many times if she would be able to help me with the snake. Adam and Eve and the Apple wasn’t an apple, that’s for sure.
70 years old and I’d write down my dream.  I didn’t want to wake her because it was unpredictable what might transpire.  When I was young there was never any doubt and I had perfect faith.  But one day belief faltered ,  I was so beaten down.  I distrusted myself.  I distrusted her,  So many lies and broken promises.
Now I face God in daily prayer and struggle with the snake.  Of course that’s the devil in the mind.  I’ve no desire to klll or separate myself from it.  I preferred the strength and power of the dream than the childlike worm of the wakening.  
So much of life is this illusion of desire and defeat. 
I’m a 70 yo man and I might as well be 17.  There is no difference in my mind but in my reality there’s resistance and rejection.  I can stand at the helm of a boat and sail through hurricanes. I can ride my harley through storms and across countries. I have done so much but at the very centre of the conflict I am without children which is the snake that others train and at the end of the day see as accomplishment.  For me it’s ever the snake and desire and in life I seek to escape.  I don’t want to fight.  I walk away from love and war.  
“This isn’t right,” 
“That isn’t right.”
Such is love and life,

Saturday, July 24, 2021

Super Straight

“I just learned I was Super Straight”, my friend told me.
“Did you take it as a compliment?” I asked.
“I sure did,” he replied, a father of four and very successful man’s man. Truly a salt of the earth character with incredible heart, mind, and soul. He was adored by his wife and loved and admired by his successful sons and daughters.

Evolutionary biology would say that the survival of the fittest favoured the ‘straight’ for their ‘reproductive’ superiority.  Certainly the super straight represent a virile and fertile part of the spectrum of sexual preference.

Dr Dorothea Bea out of Berkeley wrote a paper, ‘Macho Men and Fluffy Women’ reporting on the spread of sexual preference.  Many researches have shown similar findings with varying distributions depending upon times, culture, religion or politics.  

In a great American movie the wealthy older attractive man asks the younger beautiful woman, ‘would you have sex with me’.  She says, no. He replies ‘would you have sex with me for a million dollars?”  She says “I’d have to think about it.”  He says , “If you would have sex with me for a million dollars, would you have sex with me for a dollar.”  “What do you take me for? The woman’s exclaims.  “That’s already been decided , I’m just dickering for price.”

In some sociological  research it was interestingly found that some 10 % of heterosexual men and women would rather die than have sex with the same sex.  Naturally these folk, recently called ‘super straight” thought that was ‘reasonable’. What they found surprising though was that an equal portion of gay people, roughly 10 % of homosexuals and 10% of lesbians would rather die than have heterosexual sex.

The interesting middle group of some 30%, the so called swing vote, would have sex with either/or depending on benefit.  Indeed 10 % were frankly bisexual and often had 2 or more long term relationships with either sex.

There were many factors that influenced the distribution.  When being gay can lead to imprisonment or worse being thrown to your death from high buildings the per cent of gay people in the community shrinks to something like 3% whereas post Stonewall the percentage of outwardly active gay people in America rose to the politically repeated 10% figure. 

In the New York Museum of Sex there was an exhibit of the almost ubiquity of sexual variation in the animal kingdom. Birds were the worst and did everything and more. Certainly chimpanzees, man’s supposed closest relative, enjoy sex and don’t seem to differentiate pleasure and reproduction.  The idea following that pleasure preceded knowledge of reproduction until much later mixing of tribes and animal husbandry.  

While heterosexuals are the overwhelming, not surprising,  majority, what is harder to explain for evolutionary biologists is the persistence of the ‘Super gay’ group.  Sociobiology states that social behaviour follow biology but the only actual explanation of purpose for homosexuality has been that it takes a community to raise a child and strict homosexuals contributions to the group have been definitely seen in areas of religion, law, education and politics. The bisexual contribution was never at doubt no one really caring what one did in early days as long as reproduction persisted. The question has been that 10% of homosexuals and 10% of lesbians that abhorred heterosexuality. Why do they persist across all boundaries from an evolutionary or sociobiological basis.  This remains to be explored when the politics of mob violence allow for reflection and consideration.  

Studies of testersone show that the greater the testosterone the less discrimination.  ‘Any port in the storm’ is the adage that pertains. All over the world emergency rooms continue to see male teens with their reproductive parts stuck in vacuums and long necked bottles.   In a study of an adolescent with a testosterone produciing tumour the UBC psychiatric researcher  found that the boy got an erection to anything circular but  did not get an erection when shown a straight line.

It is common for long term male criminals to define themselves as ‘straight’ despite having regular oral receptive sex and frequently sodomizing inmates. 

“I never took it myself. I just used them because there were no women. I’m not gay like those guys,” I remember one lifer proudly bragging.  It is equally true that the number of homosexual acts increases exponentially where there are no women, hence in war, the north, in the Wild West of cowboy era, prisons and mining town and for women female prison’s and nunneries. 

The Nazi gassed gay ‘sissy’ homosexuals with the same alacrity and efficiency they gassed Jews,.  In the classic book, “Pink Swastika” , it was noted that the SS attracted these hyper testosterone relatively indiscriminate males  and that this was acceptable in the Nazi Socialist regime.  Like International Socialism, Communism, Nazism was a chauvinist regime. Women were considered inferior.  Hence the gays gassed were the ‘feminine’ ones, ‘sissy’s ‘ or ‘bottom’s’ as opposed to the ‘macho tops’.  Even now in the socialism of American among the LGBT community the term for the mother, most feminine of all, is often a disdainful “breeder’ or ‘birthing parent’ to marginalize the ‘mother child bond’.  Biology was  a threat to the 19th intellectuals.  Kate Lister in her delightful book Curious History of Sex reports that even Freud referred to women as the ‘dark continent’.  Lister went on to say that was appropriate ‘since he was clearly lost and afraid of the natives.”  Marx and Engles were afraid of the family even as Marx was having sex with his housemaid in the wife and mother of his children’s home.  

The actual research on sex, sexual preference,  sexuality and gender are all very modern topics.  ‘Hermaphrodites and the Medical Invention of Sex, by Alice Dreger tells some marvellous stories of 19th century ignorance of even female anatomy.  It was only in the last couple of years that the human genome was unravelled and clarity regarding the primary genetic program of X and Y chromosomes established. The biological male and female sex is well established with XY for males and XX for females. Rare variations like XXY Klinefelters Syndrome and XO Turner’s syndrome do exist but are exceedingly rare and thought primarily as a mutation.  Despite the romantic notion of mutations  and mutants in the minds of science fiction fans, they simply very rarely survive. Nature abhors deviance making suspect Darwinian theories as they apply to human. No explanation yet can have an ape playing Mozart in the time already known to be fixed for human life.  That we descend from aliens that arrived sometime in the past, the Aquarian, idea is vastly superior to evolution on this planet.  There just isn’t time but the idea of multiple earths with multiple supreme rulers and our own significant insignificance is too much for most ego driven sociologists wanting a name for themselves as great as their prophet Darwin.  As my friend said, today there are only maggots crawling off the dead bodies of Freud, Marx and Darwin.  

Given human ancestry  stretches back  hundreds of thousands of years it’s only in the last 80,000 years that Homo Sapiens, our group, have been defined with any certainly . It’s even now being found that we interbred with Neanderthals, Cro Magnons and Homo Erectus.  No doubt the ‘super testosterone’ folk and the ladies who liked that sort had a lot to do with adding the genetic variation brought with interbreeding between tribes.  It is always to be remembered, especially when feminists are waxing poetic like the Aryans once did about race, there are quite a large number of women who are attracted to serial killers, murderers and rapists.  They make these politically and socially incorrect men their pen pals and pray for their release that they might reproduce in Harlequin Romance ecstasy. Eva Brawn and Stalin’s wife who suicided are not much discussed in modern leftist circles that also exclude the mother of Alexander, Cleopatra, Queen Judith and Celtic Beadocia from their religion of the historic ‘oppressed women’ and ‘opresecd’ the maggot of social Darwinism.

Until the Industrial Age the larger the family usually the greater power. The Oldest law of the world is the” Law of the Fish: there are big fish and little fish and little fish must be fast and numerous.”  Hunter gatherers, herding and later agriculturalists were faced with numbers being limited by famine, war and disease.  Infant mortality was a major issue until the last century.  Studies of the AMish do show that women are healthier and live longer the more children they have until the magic number of 12 . No benefit is seen with the 13 child.  Having the first child before the age of 30 is associated with massive reduction in later age cancers and other life threatening illness. 

 Given the value of the children to the British Empire, as soldiers and administrators , the great phrase of Victorian England arose, “lie back and think of England’.  This referred to a mother’s telling her skitterish, even squeamish daughter ,asking what if I don’t like sex, that it was her ‘duty’ to have sex not for the man but for the nation.

Bishop Spong showed that even earlier the catholic clergy were invested in ‘missionary position’ , in medieval times, hundreds of years before the British empire arose.  Bishop Spong accessed the historic writings of the Roman Bishops to the young village priests. They encouraged them   question the young farm wives  in confession if they are doing anything ‘other than missionary position’. The writing reads more like a Monty Python comedy sketch as these biologically knowledgeable farm wives coyly asked the celibate priests ‘like what’ .The young priests shared this with the older distant bishops and asked them ‘like what’.  The writing is clearly all obtuse in fear of giving anyone ideas. 

The fact was that ‘sodomy’ was not so much a taboo from God as an interference with holy reproduction.  Indeed sodomy was found to be one of the commonest birth control practices of catholic women in poverty.  By contrast Asian women had large families and this increased the wealth of the parents even when they no longer could afford to support more children, as the asians were able to ‘sell’ their daughters without the shame attributed to such practices today.  In Canada where the Liberal chauvinist PM Trudeau claims politically to be feminist women are not even allowed to profit from pregnancy .They are encouraged to abort and the abortus which gave rise early to stem cells like in communist China was taken by the chauvinists of the state for personal profit. In Eastern Europe ‘surrogate motherhood’ is a booming business to allow young women of poverty to pay for university education.  The lie of feminism’ my body my own’ even extends to women’s sale of  breast milk being illegal. As well demonstrated today there is a lot of political virtue signalling but continued political evidence of the advantages of the elite versus the rest. As feminist sociologist Jane Ursell pointed out a single adult could support another adult and two children own a house, a car and a garage in the 50’s on one income while today two women can still barely pay the rent especially in cities like Vancouver where rent is akin to the Irish potato famine days and landlords evicted the peasant unable to pay to turn their real estate to greater profit. Criminals around the world wealthy by the corru[ption allowed the elite in their countries are flocking to this city to enjoy the privileges of resources. 

Today the one child policy celebrated most in the chauvinist communist china.  It  reached it’s peak in Canada when  Morgentaller the famous hatchet man abortionist under Communist PM Pierre Trudeau was aborting mainly catholic and Christian children with industrial Germanic efficiency.  Today PM Trudeau has reversed the 60’s claim of overpopulation and is actively replacing the abhorrent Christian population with Islamic Immigrants.  This has made the child ,who once was the tool of prosperity of parents specifically the mother, and communities the world over,  less a ‘tool’ and more a ‘pet’  Histloric female power was with the woman through her sons and daughter as remains evident in Hindu family based communities , predominantly matriarchal society. The destruction of the mother and child of modern feminism is consistent with Marx and Engles who abhorred and the family and saw it as a threat to their Aetheist God ‘STATE” which Lenin defined euphemistically as ‘dictatorship of the proletariat’.  

The elite regardless of race, culture tend to at least three children. When women are educated to the university level they tend further to limit their own reproductive tendency to three children The 18th century Maltheusean ideas of ‘overpopulation’ are indeed being countered by reproductive checks unimagined by the sexually obsessed men and women of merely a hundred or two hundred years agog

Homosexually interfered with reproduction but not if the monarch or his friend obliged the lady’s need to reproduce a king. Recent DNA studies of children of divorce show that 40% are not the marital father’s . This indicates that men and women are most likely equally duplicitous regarding sex despite the lie of Maxism feminism (which hijacked the suffragette and women’s liberation movements, meritocracies that celebrated men and opened opportunities for women in face of changing times — see Who stole feminism by Dr Hoff Summers.  In contrast to a BC College of Physicans and Surgeons administrative doctor who chant ‘women don’t lie about Sex’ .  Surprisingly she was never was certified as medically insane and indeed such preposterous assertions have entered the mythology of women’s studies which are now considered no more relevant to the university than seats of astrology might be.   

Women and men lie about sex and likely equally regardless of race religion or culture. A classic sexual medicine study showed that women indeed were most affected by ‘social acceptability’. .  When asked if they had ever performed fellatio they responded totally different to the librarian like brunette researcher with hair in a bun to the California blond bombshell a mere month later. Researchers wondering if they might have influenced the reserach switched researchers with no change in results. “Social acceptability’ now is essential in all studies of female sexuality given that women who have the obvious biological propensity for pregnancy have greater need for the group than men whose answers remained the same regardless of the interviewer.  

Studies of sexually transmitted Herpes showed that nuns had the least frequency and the wives of travelling salesmen the most.  Pregnancy historically limited opportunity if not only physically but emotionally. Transsexual studies have shown that testosterone is the driver of sexual unions and is present in men and women. Libido, sexual desire, is hormonal and while women have been sexually available throughout their cycle their age and time of cycle can estrus can’t critically affect their libido as anyone knows who has seen a cat ‘in heat’.    Of course alcohol affects both men and women with regards to sex and it’s thought that it’s benefit through history has been its contribution to reproduction if for no other reason.

The point is that today, so many of the scientifically uneducated make statements about sexuality and gender expression with no understanding of history, evolutionary biology, the importance of children and the significance of the family.  The courts are mired in the 19th century and while religions are well meaning and often offer the best for the most their arguments are hopelessly outdated as no better writing shows it the quite hilarious letter’ Why can’t I own a Canadian?’ 

The ‘alpha’ male was defined as such for his reproductive strength as a super straight warrior as likely as a great ape was to sodomize a young male and impregnate a young female.  The ‘beta’ male of pre industrial era was a little fish.  Today however there is a shift as Industrial Age and digital age weapons removed the muscular requirement for success. Social studies of history have shown that rather than the ‘big man’ of the hunter gatherer era leadership when his ‘woman’ , often the ‘healer and shaman’ was the influence ,with shepherding and agricultural era the ‘big man’ was increasingly aligned with the ‘old wise counsel’,.  In Fields of Blood , Religion and History of Violence, Karen Armstrong studied relationships of religion and politics.  It is clear that political motives were primary for war and that religious leaders who did not support them when the decision was made did not tend to survive long.  In hunter gather days there really was little separation of religion and state but as the tribes grew and nations grew specialization and separation of powers evolved.  One of the ironies of history was that Europe saw the greatest peace movement before the 60’s, in the years immediate to WWII

This history of the ‘sissy’ or ‘queen’ or the feminized male, who was gassed by the Nazi socialists, commonly acquired far more ridicule and abuse than the female equivalent ‘tomboy’ is seen in the rise of issues of transsexualism. The M-F usually loses social status while acquiring status in the female world.  By contrast F-M’s often acquire social status especially as the muscle of today leader is no longer on the arms and legs but between the ears.  The ‘bottom’ in the gay community is less ‘powerful’ than the ‘top’ by contrast. In the few true matriarchies studied in the Polynesian islands the woman commonly had two or three metro sexual partners. In the matriarchy seen with the Iroquois Nation the chief was chosen as a ‘macho man’ but his choice was made by the women elders who controlled the principle food supplied brought by women and children gathering as compared to the third of the food supply hunted by the men. The women controlled the decision of when to go to war and the war chief was a young man usually 20 or younger while the peace chief was an older man over 40.  Variations of these themes have been noted in reality despite the mythology often euphemistically referred to by the 19th century political ‘scientist’ . His or her speculations were as whimsical at best considering the reductionism and speculation of Marx.

Given the rapid evolution and devolution of modern societies, in response to the ‘law of accelerating returns’ nothing can really be said with the certainty once available in slow changing times. .  Buckminister Fuller the American genius and other’s like Burke have studied the vast rates of change that have come with technological change. Moore’s law that the number of transmitters on a microchip doubled every two years was an empirical observation in the Information Age that underlined Kurzwell future predictions. These are all in contrast to the 19th century age of ‘scarcity’ .  The rise of aetheism and hopelessness in the 19th century contrasts with todays realizations of infinite possibilities as seen with the Hubble telescope and the observations of astronauts.  Not so long ago the sky was thought a roof poked with light holes. 

 Europe was thought overpopulated in the time of 15 th century , the time of Columbus , yet the development of wheat in shorter period of time in agricultural departments like the University of Manitoba resulted in Canada being the ‘breadbasket of the world’  The extension of food supplies beyond the golden triangle are a fascinated discussion of brilliant anthropologists Guns, Germs and Steel book and Harri’s equally interesting Homo Sapiens.  Billions more are being able to eat with the new advances in food production..  Europe advanced production a dozen times over Asian food production where rice farming went unchanged for hundreds of years. 

Buckminister Fuller saw no limitations to the expansion of human kind except clearly the limits of the leadership.  As science offers answers to endless questions the legal and political systems remain mired in the limits of 19th century thinking if not earlier.  In Muslim countries where science once was extraordinary the political religious totalitarianism tries to turn back the clock to 16th century. ISIS indeed was the replica of early pure Muslim thinking at such variance with the modern Muslim world as evidenced by Dubai.  Like the totalitarianims of aetheist communist countries reward most is to administrators least to  innovators.  While no one flocks to these parts of the world the US as centre of entrepreneurial genius and greatest celebrator and reward of innovation can’t keep the immigrants out.  The majority of American millionaires are made in their own lifetime. 

Given the clash of cultures and Kurzwell’s laws ,anything said about what is ‘right or wrong’ , the ‘morality of sexuality’ and ‘gender’ might well be ‘fashion’ as the world turns. A study of the taboos of the Old Testament such as that against eating pork simply showed that pre fridgeration pork was most likely to go off and also carried a brain parasite transmittable to humans that caused insaniety.  Much of human behaviour before computers, allowed for multi factorial analysis on a large scale was observational empiricism.  Today gay lifestyle is associated with greatly reduced longevity but then being a soldier was associated with greatest risk to mortality. Young people continue to ask are we here for a ‘good time or a long time’.  Quality of life in Canada for Seniors whose systemic abuse was shown in the Covid crisis when the State’s robust promotion of euthanasia for the old was lock stepped with the State’s overt reduction in the quality of life support for the old. Nursing home deaths were as linked to biological factors as poverty poor administration and other sociological factors controlled by the State.  The high success of Dr. Bonnie Henry of BC Canada and Health Minister Adrian Dix was such a constrast to the lack of scientific judgment of Governor Comoro, now called the nursing home killer for his administrative failure.

The fact I see is that ‘no one knows’.  The future is a fog right now.

The whole idea of ‘freedom and determinism’ or ‘free choice and fate’ is in the centre of all this with the patholization of different behaviour.  When ‘missionary position’ heterosexuality was the best for state and large families for war and agriculture ,deviance was either addressed morally or medically. Today this clash occurs with sexual variation no longer considered pathology however the proponents of their own change continue to demand the community pay for their care with the insistence that their behaviour is ‘determined ‘’ and not choice. So in the bioethics of this ongoing debate in Canada a man can have his genitalia changed to female and have hormones and maybe breast augmentation but anything further is suspect because ‘cosmetic surgery’ to change one from an ‘ugly’ woman , determined and fated, to a ‘beautiful woman’ is ‘’choice’.  

It’s also influenced by access to resources so no one even bats an eye when a wealthy elite like a rock and roll star changes their skin colour and race and makes changes of gender or invests in space ships to become future martians however the issue of scarcity arrives when the financial and administrative world cannot cope with the accelerating demands of the wealthy let alone the poor who now watch Kardasian family fairytales and wonder when it will be their turn to play since they now know thanks to media when uncensored that Veblen who coined the term ‘conspicuous consumption’ was right. The communist leadership despite there virtue signalling have untold wealth like Imelda had shoes and Bernie Saunders has mansions.  Of course Trump has the gold tower and the Prince of Saudi’s has untold wealth.  Buddha was a prince himself once and had his enjoyment of all the women and men and exotic privilege of his regal state.  He chose a vow of poverty. We know that the rich and privileged visitted Epstein Island as one of many ‘flesh spots’ for the elite, political, religious, economic, or whatever.  There are Big Fish and Little Fish. Trungpa says that the west cannot know bliss because it’s mind is lost in ‘spiritual consumerism’. Thoreau in Walden Pond showed that more did not mean merrier.  Yet it would be nice to ‘renounce’ luxury than not ever know it. 

 Yet there are 8 billion people on the planet and never before in history have so many had so much and there have been so few poor as a percentage as there is today. The potential is awesome however the rate key limiting factor is perhaps the decreased value of a spaceship if everyone has a spaceship.  It’s not a matter of amount but ‘relative amount’ that drives the disparity in the world.  


The Super Straight therefore are less concerned with their neighbours as the ‘relative success’ of their neighbours.  With increasing single people who are not bound to the monastic vows of poverty there are increasing challenges and change that is happening with lightening speed today.  

Obviously it’s above my pay grade.

Sunday, May 30, 2021

Oral and Anal Sex

Beware,  this was immediately censored by Facebook. It doesn’t matter that I taught sexuality and have degrees in medicine and religious studies, object to Liberal and Communist censorship, and have been asked about this by hundreds of patients, we are seeing the dying of the light. This is being done by corporate legal hegemony. 

Oral sex is ‘natural’. It’s certainly seen in the animal kingdom. It was also long known as a preliminary to intercourse. As well the upper classes especially knew it as a ‘contraceptive’. It is the stuff of lesbian and gay sex.  So there are three aspects to consider:
1. Oral sex as fore play. I don’t think there is evidence against this.  
2. Lesbian same sex oral sex.  Not really controversial. While many African states still outlaw gay males Sex these ‘macho’ African states allow ‘lesbian Sex’.  I think they like to watch too:}
3. Homosexual oral sex. This was particularly popular in Ancient Greece and is depicted on their pottery.  It’s interesting in the jail men who ‘accept oral Sex’ do not consider themselves gay. A Mexican policeman who ‘used’ boys thought of himself as ‘super macho’. The distinction here is ‘receptive’ versus ‘active’.  Homosexuality by this creed is ‘female like’.  The Pink Swastika researched the high incidence of sexual deviation in the Nazi especially the SS. The homosexuals who went to the gas chambers were effeminate and ‘receptive’ or ‘bottoms’ or ‘queens’.  The macho men declared themselves as super sexed and having so much sex they could spread it around.  This group today would be called bisexual, admittedly tight assed bisexual but bisexual nonetheless.
4. Swallowing Semen. The distinction with the acceptance of semen orally is another issue of controversy.  It certainly was a long used upper class birth control technique and know for centuries by courtesans.  It was interestingly least associated with the spread of disease.  There are indeed many gay men who did not desist from oral receptive sex throughout the HIV crisis and simply didn’t get HIV even though they had ‘swallowed the semen’ of infected men.  Heterosexual women were equally immune from disease despite ‘swallowing semen’ from infected men.  It’s not that STD could not be spread with oral sex. The chance of the ‘giver’ getting disease was rare unless they had penile tears or the mouth of the receivers were filled with open sores. Even that was speculative. The fact is oral gonorrhea and oral thrush do occur.  Herpes has spread orally in lesbians. I know this personally as a clinician who has interviewed people with oral STD and faithfully eliminated even the remote possibility they licked toilet seats for pleasure.  It can occur but it’s rare, extremely rare. By contrast, unprotected receptive anal sex is the least safe sexually regarding disease spread.  However, what remains is that ‘swallowing of semen’ independent of risk of disease is a distinct ‘taboo’.  Even autophagia, the male masturbatar swallowing his own ejactulate is a ‘taboo’.  

The more educated women are the more willing they are to have oral sex and swallow semen. The upper classes independent of culture and religion reduce their frequency of pregnancy to three children despite the evidence that having twelve children is healthiest for the equivalent individual. Oral receptive intercourse has long been an acceptable birth control method.  

Birth control pills were made first in 1952.

Condoms have been available since the 17th century at least with lots of recording in the 18th century and very effective ones with the 19th century. 

The question of ‘spilling his seed on the ground’ , the ‘sin of Onan’ was not about masturbation or oral sex but rather the refusal of greedy Onan to impregnate his brothers wife so that after his brother’s death her offspring would share in the future estate ownership. By refusing to i pregnant his brothers wife, having intercourse and pulling out, he broke Jewish law.  

The key feature of all discussion of sex prior to the Industrial Age was that children were ‘wanted’ and ‘mothers’ were celebrated.  Mother of God.  Mother of the Nation. The brith of children resulted in labor for agriculture and for armies. The advice to daughters by the Victorian Mother was ‘lie back and think of England’. It’s only in recent years that children and mothers have been denigrated.  The most evident change is tone in the voice of the sneering lesbian feminist who calls mothers ‘breeders’ and denigrates the roll of wife and mother as inferior to imitative male roles like lawyer.  In the Celtic tradition women were not excluded from male roles as they were in many Asian and African cultures with exceptions.  Queen Boudicca, Joan d’Arc, and Queen Judith are all truthful examples of women’s power.  Women’s power was expressed through their husbands and sons and daughters.  Angelina Jolie actually played a rather true depictions of the mother of Alexander at great contrast to the chauvinist Marxist depiction of women as ‘victims’.  When Freud said ‘women have penis envy’ , the psychoanalyst Karen Hornet responded ,‘men have womb envy’.  

Bishop Spong has humorously recorded the history of the ‘missionary position’ and the ‘Catholic church’.  The idea though was specifically tied to maximum reproduction. The anti masturbation position is not necessarily biblical given the misinterpretation of Onan but there is a stoic element in the Biblical history as evidenced by the path of celibacy and the path of parenthood both being acceptable routes to God.  Being a single masturbator doesn’t flow naturally from interpretation of he Bible.  Being a wanker he eats his own sperm isn’t well supported by New Testament or Old Testament Judeo Christianity. Indeed it’s been said there are two things a human can’t do ‘marriy’ or be a Christian though the Aethest Communist sex doll industry and the all too common lunatic judicial supports are ready to redefine “marriage” fashionably, yet again.

It is said that the devil is in the detail and taboos and superstitions are really specific to the ingestion of living sperm.  What is that about?  Equally some men fear that licking women’s ‘juices’ will cause them to be ‘feminine’.  That separate issues of gender and hormones is still apart of the whole.  Yet the life and death issue of masturbation and sperm release to the Kleenex receptor or the male or female mouth is critical. Meanwhile the epicureans value the delicacies of live oysters swallowed whole, new recipes of live worms and insects and ‘rarest’  of meats while the bull testicle and female animal internal organs were long a delicacy especially among the upper classes.  There’s superstition in all this as well as science.  Mostly speculation.  Even more ‘belief’ and culture and ‘tradition’.  But central are issues of history and considerations of ‘life’ and death in an era where ‘giving blood’ or other ‘transplants’ are acceptable and ‘stem cell’ research has challenged all our thinking about sperm and ova.  

The celibate woman lets a ‘potential’ life die each month.  So even further is the ‘passive’ or ‘covert’ aggression, versus the ‘active or ‘overt’ aggression.  Am I responsible or accountable.  If someone dies who I could save and don’t is that the same as my actually killing a person.  Note the slippery slimy consideration of philosophy and ethics.  Indeed in contrast to morality, ethics seems often to provide excuse.  But ultimately the guilt and shame are in these details. It remains that among women being called a ‘cock sucker’ isn’t particularly scathing outside the strictest of communities while being called a ‘cocksucker’ as a man is limiting personally and politically.  Being called a ‘pussy licker’ as a woman among women might have negative repercussions though men don’t find it as difficult.  Women may in fact be more judgemental regarding sexual mores than men who are often influenced by their wives and mothers but alone don’t really care what their fellows are doing as long as they are getting their own.  It still remains that there is significant shame and guilt attached to homosexuality and this act of oral intercourse is clearly tied to that greater idea.  

Of course we shouldn’t talk about this. Talking about this is dirty and perverted.  Sex is an action sport.  The legal system has indeed insisted it’s contractual and masculine and denied the input of women , in their behaviour, or their actions routinely.  The chauvinistics dominate the male courts and deny the distinction of female sexuality or gay sexuality and judge everything by 19th century male standards and gross ignorance of science and culture.  Indeed much of the problem of sexuality is the legal system and political system especially in Canada where censorship is being restored by the Liberal government threatened in fact by the powerful aboriginal Canadian women whose voices have been denied by the priviledged males especially of Montreal and Toronto. Meanwhile the UN is even more backward than Canada and Europe which had been decades back at the forefront of enlightenment but now regresses.  The UN has a collection of men in charge of Women’s division and has elected the Iranian as the leader despite the greatest abuses of history against women in Iran today.  

All this affects sex, oral sex and migration and the effects of migration of people from dictatorships living in the past to free countries which were once open to consideration of a future.

Oral sex and swallowing is ironically a central issue.  Clinton insisted he did not have sex.  The key could have been if he insisted he didn’t commit adultery. Adultery was once about ‘intercourse alone’.  The whole idea of marriage was related to contractual allegiance and the ownership of children.  The monogamous marriage is an Indo European invention but it didn’t historically allow separation if there was adultery even. It was ‘grounds for divorce’ in recent times routinely but in studies of 50 year marriage a third of the participants had had intercourse outside of the marriage.  For Clinton to say that a ‘blow job’ was not ‘sex’ was too far fetched. A Jesuit lawyer could have got him off perhaps if he’d responded that he didn’t commit adultery. By contrast Kamala, the new Vice President, openly committed adultery with Governor Brown rubbing Mrs. Brown’s face in it. Too boot.  We don’t know if she had oral sex.  A study suggest black women were less likely to have oral sex than white, chinese or Indian women arguing that American black women were less receptive given this being a part of the slavery tradition. I don’t know.

Remember to even talk about this or think about it or share any thoughts on the subject are ‘dirty’.  Clean and dirty are interesting terms to apply to sex.

At this time the worlds richest men and women are divorcing.  But we can’t talk about sex, politics or religion in polite company.  Those who decide what we can and cannot talk about are the powerful.  

As Haasnen declared it remains that there are only two things a southern politician can’t do , ‘get caught in bed with a live boy, or dead girl.’  Epstein Island suddenly became a matter the media quickly dropped while it remains content to hold the Springer spin off, the Kardasians central.

This is just ‘oral’ sex.  Imagine the whole talleyho taboo with ‘anal Sex’.   Talk about taboo yet again, animals do it, and it has been with us humans in recorded history for hundreds of years and was used as a ‘natural’ birth control method by South American women. I have no intention of suicide but if that’s the official report before I write about anal sex please donate to Julian Assange’s freedom fund and stop Trudeau’s illegal immigration. 

Monday, July 30, 2018

Picard Creek Campground, Shame, Death, and Psychiatry

I like being in this campground.  I could have stayed at the wilderness site but didn’t. I experienced a degree of anxiety alone there which is unusual for me.  Here there are others three of whom I’ve spoken to and actually liked.  A shy European accented gentleman was interested in my new KTM 690 and gave me a hand unloading it.  My neighbour a jolly Abbotsford realtor asked if his running his Jeep to charge his batteries bothered me. Of course it didn’t. I got out my generator and did the same.
He had talked of his success in real estate, retiring to Mexico for a number of years only to return and again be successful.  “I’ve made heap loads of money,” he said.  The problem arises when they ask what I do.  I answer, “physician’.  If it were stopped stop there it would be fine.  But they go on to ask 'what specialty or interest?”  And I answer, ‘psychiatry and addictions’.  This time I said, “neuropsychiatry and addictions’.  Yesterday I’d been treating head injuries.  I believe I’m ashamed of being a psychiatrist.
I felt so proud and good doing surgery and later as a country gp.  When I think of psychiatry I think of abortion, adultery, sexual abuse, homosexuality, drug abuse, divorce, constant surviving corrupt administration, seeing the underbelly of the beast.  Psychiatry took my innocence, what little I had .  Now I’m nearing the end of my career and I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished much.  I thought I’d somehow know God and plumb the depths of human existence in some way, and I have.  It’s been a mostly thankless task as was promised. I remember that first interview, the psychiatrist wondering why I wanted to be one, as much asking me as asking himself what he was doing.
Psychologists amuse me. They seem so proud of themselves.  There’s a proximity to the sciences that bring confidence in the arts crowd.  Yet here I am feeling so different from my colleagues in the world of ‘real’ medicine.  It’s a matter of validity.
I think I saw my surgeon friend from Saipan in Chilliwack. I recognized him and shied away as I do from all I recognise but don’t know instantly. I fear they are a patient and that there will be an awkwardness.  When I was a gp patients were glad to see me but as a psychiatrist I bring up issues often forgotten and gladly left in the past. We dig up graves in my work, examine the bodies and bury them again. I’m a reminder of the grave robbing, the night time tasks.
The surgeon is a Christian. An artist. Adept with his hands and mind.  A wonderful wonderful man.  I so admired him but I was distracted, trying to get all the bits of a strict learning fast learning curve together and ‘miles to go before I sleep’.  We were in a grocery store Friday night. I believe he was with his wife but I did see him looking at me and I still hadn’t figured out who he was, until I’d paid and was leaving. Then it dawned on me.  A colleague.  I’ve known only a few well, avoiding them since I had sex with my psychiatry professor.  I love the Third Day song, “I carry the shame”.  For decades now I’ve straddled the chasm that time opened.  I left heterosexuality and became intersected then.  “He tried to breed you,” my friend crudely commented one night when I was sharing.  It was a wound but I’ve never known if it was a wound like the broken cup or the crack repaired the Japanese saints speak of.  I became binary then.  Double minded. Demon possessed.  Alt gender.
This surgeon operated on my anus.  Repaired the tears.  I was again a tight ass for years after till once again “I shared a bum’.  I was no longer drunk or stoned but anxious, afraid and so very very stressed.  There was comfort there.  I worried then about sex addiction. Would I do this again or was that just a test, the ‘hair of the dog’.  Most think of me as heterosexual, but that’s true of all of us who have been abuse, the ‘confused’ and what euphemistically are sometimes called the ‘curious’.
Was I merely a hedonist. Was this just seeking pleasure in all it’s form. The Apple core experience.  I’d left the alcohol and marijuana. I’d thought I might be trans.  I’ve thought so often about a sex change known it’s not so much about sex as identity. Like the Leonard Cohen song, "Lover, Lover, Lover, come back to me…..I want a new face.”  I want a new identity.
I pray to God to free me of the shame.
“Taking estrogen for me was like smoking marijuana. I lost the edge I’d had. I became more accepting, less driven.”  she said.
I wondered then if I missed smoking marijuana, that sense of ‘blatto’, the feeling of being female or receptive, yin rather than yang.  I used to smoke marijuana and play guitar or want to languish in sex for hours at a time.  Sober it was a more rushed affair.  I don’t ooze through life. The edges are sharp. Testosterone is ‘testy’.  It’s demanding.
“I never wanted to cheat on my partner till I started this testosterone,” he told me, “Now all I want to do is mount young girls."
I play with my nipples and wonder if the pleasant feeling I experience releases prolactin and increases my maternal instincts.  In a Brave (and frightening)  New World, men will breast feed children so their wives can manage abortion clinics.
I can hear a colleague, saying “Get over it. Get on with it.  Make a decision.  You’re either he or she.  Decide.”  He’s a little square box man. He’s lived safely in control and authority.  I see the terror in his eyes.  I frighten people with the breadth of possibility.
Psychological mindedness is the ability to tolerate the tension between opposites. I”ve stood in the middle of everything since psychoanalytical training, seeing ‘both sides now’ to quote Joni Mitchell. I envy the ‘solids’ , those ‘black and white’ , ‘concrete thinkers’,  Piaget’s ‘pre abstract’ set.  They’re in this world.  The boy with the most toys wins. They’re the chivalrous ones.  They care for their women and children and have certainty. Their seed is planted in good ground.
I’m the ‘other’. Alien.  Priest scientist.  My struggle is with me always and I limp away from the combat on a daily basis.  That’s why I like addictions. I understand the core debate.  St. Paul said it, “I do that which I don’t want to do and I don’t do that which I want to do."
The division between body and mind.  The man condition.  It’s not just sexual for me. It’s everything.  Split person.  I reflect on that anal intrusion.  I’ve not done that to a man though a woman asked for this. I’ve done what women asked and regretted it. They’ve taken houses and lives and played with me like I was Ken doll in their make believe world without a sense of shame or concern for consequence. I’ve been thrown away.  I feel they’re wired differently. I thought it was just one but I’m not sure any more.  Their love of children is a wholly different thing from their love of partner.  I called them ‘babe’ and they liked it but I wasn’t their baby. I was mostly a tool to that end.  A stepping stone.  But the abortion lingers.
So much death.  At the end it’s the death that remains. The parts are linked in various ways. We make a story. A narrative.  We say A lead to B.  The abortion did this or the adultery did that or the lie lead there.  The shame is the conscience.  So many lack that level of morality.  What feels good, do it.  The opportunities are lacking for those living ‘lives of quiet desperation’ but I became unhinged from the pack early. Maybe that was the effect of drugs, or leaving home or being expelled from school or failing. The cost of difference. Being a genius. Being an adventurer and explorer.  I dared to be different and it lead to psychiatry.
I loved surgery.  It’s a thing out there. Like the motorcycle this weekend.  I’m not the machine. The machine is something I manipulate. In surgery I was not the body or the knife but removed, separate. But in psychiatry I’ve joined with the patient.  The psychopharmacologists are afraid. They throw little coloured pills at the disease. But I’m a psychotherapist. I wanted to heal with relationship. I wanted to change the course of the person’s life through psychotherapy. The pills were a tool in that process, not the thing. I truly ‘walked a mile in their footsteps’, entered their ‘nightmares’ and laughed consoled, convinced them that life was worth living.  I’ve stood alone on the edge of the abyss so it was nothing to stand with them and admire the view.  Without that insanity I couldn’t really help the insane.  I could put a band aid on it but I wanted to free them. Not of the human condition but of the fear.  I joined them in that point of fear and anger.
My sutures were laughter often.  Black humor.  Whatever works.  Whatever gets us to walk away from the edge.  Back to the hewing of wood and carrying of water. There’s a death waiting all of us. Why rush it. Slow down.  Smell the roses.  I entertained my patients and they came back for the next installment. Eventually they lived with me and then moved on to live independently again.  Broken minds so little different from broken minds. I was glad to treat them both
I guess I wanted your approval God. I know I have your love.  But would you validate me.  I think that having children does that for people, maybe not women as much as men. It gives purpose.  It gives belonging. Even my dog Gilbert joins me with life. I would not suicide today because he needs me. A relationship with a plant can bring life.  So much of it is getting out of self.  Egocentric. Narcisism.  I call the drug addiction mental masturbation. Isolation rather than participation.  Rejection of the community. Rejection of the government. Rejection of fellow man. My patients play with fentanyl like a child playing with a very sharp knife.  I see cutters too. They isolate the artery on their wrist and wonder in the blood.  The demolition man blew up things.  The sadomasochist was fine hurting himself and then began hurting her.
I like the blue jays in the wiley spruce tree before me. The tree stands close to the rushing river.  A massive upheaval of rock and soil forms the mountainous hill beyond.
God man.  That’s what we are.  Our minds capable of any range of fantasy but our bodies limited in space.  There are consequences of decisions. They are outcomes to be considered. My mother would have wanted me to marry the girl in the church and had some babies as she and Dad had done.  Like Cat Steven’s long, “settle down, get a job’.  I wish that I was that way inclined. I tried marriage and I tried to have a job and now I’m nearing an end. Alone in this space.  With my blind dog sleeping beside me, at this campsite. I liked the name Picard.  Captain Picard of Star Trek inspired me. “To go where no man has gone before.”  And to confront the Borg.  Communism and Democracy.  So often it’s played as ‘communism and capitalism’ but really it’s ‘communism and democracy’ But the naming of the thing was what Adam did with God.  In the garden.
We name things disease and disorder.  Those in control cut the bad things out.  They’ve made a clear choice. In administration the conquerors are surgeons, they destroy the cancerous rebels to make their revolt work.  Control. Dominance.
When he mounted me something was crushed within. Seduced he’d say.  But then he was victim of terror. Afraid of the night.  I walk in day and night. The moon was full and the camp so quiet last night when I woke and decided to let my blind dog walk a bit.  He doesn’t know what time of day it is.  We  both stumbled about in the dark.  I had a flashlight I could use. I’d put a light on the back of his harness so I could find him.  I called and he came but big boulders and bushes got between us.  Returning to the camp I carried him.  He’d had enough and was glad to go back to sleep. As was I.  To sleep.  But to dream is the rub.
God is the dreamer and I’m a co dreamer.  Each of us dreams.  I can leave it as a nightmare or embrace it as a moment of learning. If it doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger.  I’ll ride my new motorcycle today.  The KTM. Austrian. The Nazi’s invaded Austria first.  They were so similar and so many welcomed the Fuhrer.  There were those who didn’t.  That was nationalist socialism, but socialism all the same. Central authority. Control dominance.  Upper hand.  Goose steps then gulags. Fascism and communism two faces to the same totalitarianism.  One sidedness.
Now I surrender to God. God is my saviour. A light breeze washes my face. Later I’ll ride the motorcycle and it will be wind therapy.  A couple of times I nearly crashed yesterday.  Fishtailing in the sand. The uncertain road.  The speed necessary to get through a patch too much for the next.  The delicate challenge of balancing forces.
I am a psychiatrist.  I prefer being a physician.  But I am a psychiatrist.  And an addiction medicine specialist.  Hierarchies and economies.  Right now I’m a camper and one day I’ll be retired.  That’s what people ask me now, “Are you retired.”  And I don’t remember when the first time that question preceded, "What do you do?”  So often I’m not paying attention.
The blue stellar jays have flown away.  The crows remain.  I’m due for another coffee.  It’s morning and other campers are up.  Making breakfast preparing to carry on.  I like that I prefer the company of others.  At least here, at a distance, in our own space.  It’s taken a long time to come around here again.  The blue stellar jays have returned.














Saturday, August 19, 2017

Homosexuality and Christianity

First and foremost, I tell people that Jesus did not talk about homosexuality.  I've read the Bible and as much as I look I don't see anywhere that Jesus spoke about these issues. He talked a lot about God instead. Consequently I think the failure of the present day church is that it has been brought down into the realm of social discourse.
What L'Chaim means is 'to life'.  Fundamentally Christianity is about creativity as was Judaism before.  This issue with homosexuality in Deuteronomy was that a tribe's success in the days before the Industrial Age depended on reproductive numbers. The more in a family, the more power; the more in the tribe ,the greater the number of warriors. Warriors meant you could get slaves. Slaves and peasants tended the fields.
(Note that the argument of Islamists today is that they will rule the world through the fertile wombs of their women. Much of Islam remains in a pre industrial consciousness due to the denial of fundamental freedoms for most especially women.)
The role of the Mother in the Church is sacrosanct.  When childless girls were elevated to high status in the church without being celibate nuns, the same with celibate priests, the introduction of whether one was lesbian or homosexual or heterosexual became a mute point.
Celibacy by contrast is associated with spirituality and increased enlightenment in many religions not just Christianity.
The onset of 99% effective chemical birth control in the 1950's and choice of abhorrent abortion over celebration of birth and motherhood were game changers.
Paul was an old Jewish leader who made mistakes.  Nothing Jesus says is dated but some of what Paul says had a short shelf life. Jesus was God and Man.  Paul was at best a godly man.   I can't accept the infallibility of the Bible when I read about Paul's statements regarding slaves. He was a Rabbi and may have been married but the evidence suggests not.  His comments regarding women and men and marriage aren't necessarily wrong but somehow sound dated. Nothing Jesus says sounds dated except his local and historic metaphors, mostly about fishing and farming.  It's lost on kids living in a concrete jungle of parking lots of mechanicals.
So Individualism is central to all these discontents. The destruction of the family is fundamental aetheist communism. The religion of the STATE as God as created by Marx and Engels and Lenin and Stalin an Mao is simply based on the reality that individuals can be dominated by the fundamental divide and conquer tactic of the State.  So we have the rise of Individualism out of Marx and Engels who were outspoken about the need to destroy the family.  They didn't like Mothers especially theirs and others.
Jesus by contrast simply said that God must come first even if that separates you from family. Jesus did love his mother.  Marx wanted family ties destroyed with only one relationship of importance, that of individual and Aetheist God State, (the committee).  Even the Kings and Emperors of old supported the serf's family.  Family was the fundamental unit of society not the individual.
Today all the sexuality and social issues especially around "Identity Politics' is a priori about individuals.  Jesus spoke of the individual relationship with God.  In my relationships with others in my family and community I reflect my fundamental relationship with Jesus Christ.
The tendency of Evangelicals to call the Bible, the Old and New Testament is flawed. The GOOD NEWS is the Gospels. All else is secondary.  All else is truly commentary.  Jesus summed up the scriptures with the statement Love God and Love Thy Neighbour as Thyself.  This is a key to understanding every phrase in the rest of the Bible, everything said by Paul, everything said by Isaiah. If it doesn't fundamentally agree with what Jesus says its being misinterpreted or cherry picked or selected out of context.
I personally identify as a Christian and as a member of the family of Christians.  I am first and foremost a Christian as that speaks to my most important relationship, that with my Lord Jesus Christ.  Jesus Christ is the name I use when I speak to my God.  All other relationships sexual or otherwise take a distant second. I don't hear that in Church dialogues and see the emphasis in Gay flavoured churches and Anti Gay churches as missing the point.
The point of Christianity is Jesus.  I like hearing and sharing his Holy Name.