Electroscan Inauguration

Jim told me he'd completed the plumbing on the installation of the new Elecstroscan. He didn't really give me any warning but I hoped I had it in me to test the machine. Because of the river water running into the sea nearby the saline content wasn't apparently sufficient for a good reaction. He gave me a salt shaker and suggested a tablespoon or so would be sufficient to salt the shit so to speak. Pepper and other spices are sufficiently added the usual way. The low salt craze perhaps contributes to the need for add salt directly to the water in the bowl before sitting to contemplate the task involved.

I was able to look at the shiny clean machine with all the wires and hoses coming off it while I was preparing for the final push. It wasn'tt as productive as I might have wanted but sufficient for a test and satisfying. I think just knowing there was salt in the bowl flavoured the whole event positively. It gave me a charge to pump my achievement up the hoses and into that amazing feat of engineering wizardry. Quite satisfied with my self I pressed the 'START" button. Ampere and voltage registered on the display as amazing grumbling and grinding sounds emanating from the box as if I was listening to the belly of a beast after a particularly satisfying meal.

Reminded me of my dog who I had to shoo away from eating my shit out in the woods. Cured him of that bit of trouble but never could keep him away from the cat's litter box. No wonder she wasn't as fond of playing with him as he was fond of playing with her. Naturally she didn't like playing his favourite game with her as his 'squeaky toy'. I'm sure seeing him lunch at her litter box before he mouthed her might well have contributed to her not being a particularly good sport about his idea of fun.

There was a kind of whosh sound when it was done. Whoosh. Like the whole matter was taken care of. The display lighted up with a very joyful communication of completion and indication of readiness for more water sports and brownies. I felt really good. And told Jim.

"That was very good, Jim."

And he said, "I'm really glad you're happy with your new Electroscan."

"I am, Jim, " I said. Now I know my shit doesn't stink and I think that few can say that with the certainty I can, especially those of the politician class especially.

 

Well, then that was the inaurguration of the Electroscan. I was just sorry that I didn't have it in me to give it another go. I'm confident though that I'll have plenty of bullshit to pass on to the little beast in future and look forward to many happy moments just feeling positive all over about my Electroscan shit zapper. It's a great country and a very fine day in one's life when you can own an Electroscan. Every time I poo I'm doing my bit for the planet. That's the feeling I get, thanks to my Electroscan. It's really saved me from being an ecological throw back.

 

Laura being catholic was the first to notice that I had a halo around my arse. When I looked in the mirror I could see it too. A regular saintly halo, right there around the old hole. And I owe it all to my Electroscan. I think anyone who can own an Electroscan will be as happy with their product as I now am.

 

Bosch Propane Water Heater

Kaloo! Kalay! He chortled in his joy! I have hot water. I have had a stupendous shower! I'm happy, joyous and free! There is a God and he loves me true. Heat. Glorious heat. I suspect I'm not ready for heaven yet. I hope it's not drafty otherwise hell's warmth may have it's appeal. I love the joys of fire as much as my Siamese cat. She's slept most of the afternoon given the diesel stove's baking heat.

Astravan Distributors fixed the water heater this last summer. When I talked on the phone with them yesterday they encouraged me to try to fix it again myself. This small marine model is no longer being made so I couldn't get a new one to replace it. Steven's Plumbing who Astravan had recommended had some ideas as to what might be wrong too.

Given a day to work on the boat I settled in to studying the matter. I adjusted this and that and then ran a lighter in front of the propane outlet till the pilot light caught flame. Wow!. I think the diesel heater heated the boat sufficiently that the propane decided to take the trip to the head at the bow from where it was hanging out with the stove in the galley at the stern.

With the joys of hot water and heated cabin now, I got the boat Yanmar diesel motor running just for good measure. I let it run a bit to remember what it feels like to be alive. I even fixed the chimney on the stove and messed about with the leaking windows finally stopping the occasional drops that had me concerned mildly annowyed. Now their screws are tightened and cleaning and Vaseline has helped their seals.

I've more stuff to move off the boat. Changed the sheets and stowed even more stuff. I've been a busy boy. Best I didn't go hunting. This heat and hot water makes home life much more appealing. Amazing what we take for granted.

Storms in the Strait of Georgia persist. I'm glad to be snug now in harbor. Reading Alexander Kent, Cross of St. George with Bolitho and Avery in the British Indomitable fighting those dastardly rebellious Americans with their treacherous French allies. Life is good. I might just go have another hot shower!