Surrender

AA teaches that we surrender.  We cease fighting everyone and everything.  Righteous anger is a dubious luxury in those in recovery.

I probably wouldn’t have joined AA a quarter century ago if it weren’t for reading that American soldiers continued to fight the Nazis in Italy while remaining sober in AA.  I did not believe e in pacifism. I believed in self defence.  I feel Trudeau is attacking Canada and Canadians and has placed himself above the law.  But is it my fight? 

 In my work and personal life I’ve met hundreds of individuals personally harmed by communism first hand.  Even as a representative to youth parliament I spoke out against communism in my 20’s in the Ottawa parliament.  Even now my patients have described Communist Chinese police and military in Canada spying on our soil and threatening citizens who speak out against the latest invasion of Hong Kong by the communists.  When I met with the Dalai Lama he was still speaking against the genocide of Tibetans by the communist Chinese, the invasion and ethnic cleansing of the local Tibetans replacing them with Communist Chinese.  

The Uyghurs continue to be imprisoned and the organs extracted for communist Chinese officials,  It’s like Auschwitz continues, but in China.   I read Solzinitzin ‘s Gulag about the slave work camps in Communist Russia.  My colleague survived the Concentration camps of the communist Pol Pot.  The Cambodian communists murdered millions, half the population of Cambodia.  I listened in horror to his personal story and his individual courage.  I was just in Ethiopia where I heard of the horrors when then the Communist overthrew the government and killed so many before they were again overthrown,  I talked to survivors sitting and sharing in the churches I was visiting, 

Working with refugees from Communist regimes I heard first hand accounts of torture and terror.  It’s horrifying to know that Trudeau has invited the communist Chinese military to train on Canadian soil while he treats Canadian veterans and hero’s with utter disdain and disrespect. 

I am taught, Let go and Let God. Having a resentment to Trudeau  is said to be like taking poison and hoping the other guy dies.  I am old. My back hurts,  I’ve given my life to service and caring for others. I’m the original hippy.  A peacenik  I don’t want a war.  Make love not war.  As a Christian I am taught to pray for my enemy and turn the other cheek,  Jesus’s disciples were armed and his message appealed to Centurions.  I loved. CS Lewis’ Christian messages to the troops on BBC.  The fight against fascism was like the fight against Communism.  Christians are slow to anger but the disciples were armed and defensive and protected the women and children in their midsts from the robbers, murderers and kidnappers in their journeys.  

Though my father was Air Force and my uncle Military Police I chose medicine and healing. If the Vietnam war against the Communist north Vietnamese as a proxy war was expanded  by Communist China I’d work as a doctor not as a shooter. The Korean War in which Canada was so successful and admired was another Communist Chinese Proxy War.   Korea was divided with the north still firing missiles over Japan and over Guam where my friends live. 

Communism is the ideology of perpetual war.  Yet even Putin claims his ‘invasion’ of Ukraine is ‘defensive’.  There is no truth in Communism.  Whatever the Central Communist Committee says is true.  With the fall of the Berlin Wall and the exposure of the Stazis files the reality of the massive deceit and terror in Communism was again exposed,  

CSIS says the Communist Chinese have infiltrated the Canadian Education, Media and Government to the highest level, 

Jesus commanded ‘do not be afraid.’  Worrying in wicked. I’m admittedly anxious but I lived under the threat of Cold War.  We did drills during the Kennedy Missile Crisis curled up as children under desks and by school walls,  When the city siren went off we filed to the basement of the Hudson Bay fearing separation from our fanily.  Our city was just north of the American missile sirens on the direct route of the first strike Communist Inter continental nuclear missiles,

Communist China’s latest missiles are aimed at the west coast and can and will strike Vancouver and Seatle,  Xi Jing Ping has threatened this.  Once again I’m living in a nightmare with Trudeau singing Queen at the death of Queen Elizabeth a monarch and world leader I had so admired,  During WW 2 she stood up to Fascism and would stand up against the Communists. She worked as a mechanic in the war effort.  Pierre Trudeau flew Nazi  flags , trained in Communism in Russia and celebrated Communist Castro.  His son celebrates Xi Jing Ping.  

I probably have PTSD still. I have waves of anxiety and need to accept that God’s divine retribution will take care of Trudeau.  I wouldn’t want his karma.  I need to let go and let God.  

What’s also true is I really haven’t much of a clue about Trudeau or the Liberals today because it’s all hearsay.  Elon Musk has exposed how warped and bizarre Twitter became with the FBI with Hillary’s campaign creating a false Russian disinformation dossier and deciding what and who could be heard.  Conservative voices were blacklisted like in Canada.  The CBC and other Canadian media have been bought by Trudeau so they are little more than government public relations,  Canada’s “People’s Daily’.  With all the misinformation and disinformation in the media, Trudeau might well be a good guy, just another victim in the horror show of Canadian politics with Communist Russia’s war in Europe,  Communist China’s war in the China Sea and Covid leaked from the Wuhan lab. The Pangolin were falsely accused along with the wet markets which didn’t sell bats.   So whose to know if what we are told is Trudeau, is Trudeau. Maybe the actor is replaced by an actor.  Reality is crazier than fiction,  Who is the real Justin Trudeau?  

I believe those I know personally have sufferd at the hands of the Communists.  I have seen and touched their scars.  I may be a Conservative Canadian today but when I drank and smoked I was a liberal. Today I have liberal friends and know so many who are pro Liberal anti Trudeau.  I even have patients who know Trudeau and swear by him. Just as I met Turner and Chrétien and Harper and swore by them they swear by Trudeau. They see him as loose and a flake but not inherently evil, At most what Lenin called a ‘useful idiot’.  So why am I doing feeling such negativity for him.  Isn’t it as much my counter transference issues.  

I didn’t cause Trudeau, I can’t control Trudeau, And I can’t cure Trudeau,  God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (Trudeau) , the courage to change the things I can (me, my attitude, my fear and resentment). And the wisdom to know the difference,  

In my work I ‘ve had guns pointed at me, Ironically by criminals and police.  I was held hostage and my life threatened so badly I have nightmares still so admittedly a lot of the media and threats and fears of the last few years have touched and triggered me. I’m blessed to have colleagues and friends who have supported me, I have my faithful little dog Madigan and Laura has been a comfort along with my family whose lives are so creative and loving,

I do listen all day to patients who are suffering mostly these days from inflation and negligence and lack of resources.  It’s getting harder every year to be on the front lines, working in the complaints department of life. .  I can only empathize with those who escaped communist countries and are here seeing their safety once again threatened,  Younger I was better at carrying on but older I find it harder to forget the stories of the victims of communism.  Hundreds of millions were murdered in the USSR and similar numbers by Mao in the communist cultural revolution which began as ‘cancel culture’ and ‘gag orders’.  Any doctor who disagreed with the horror of totalitarianism  was called schizophrenic and locked up in the Russian asylums. When I was a member of Canadian Civil Liberties and Psychiatrists against Political Abuse I heard so many first hand accounts,  Only a decade ago I was asked to go to China as a missionary psychiatrist meeting with Christian psychiatrists and hearing first hand the horrors of the Communist Chinese regime. 

Today my back hurts.  I fear its anger turned inward. I believe everything is psychosomatic.  I simply have to let go and let god and pray for my enemies,  I’ve found when I pray for my enemies I don’t want to do that so I stop thinking about them. It’s time, Trudeau doesn’t need anymore Fuddleduck Trudeau sentiment. Today I’ll start praying for him, He and his fanily do need prayers. Mostly I need to stop fighting everyone and everything,  I have to surrender and accept my position is overrun.  

Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou aren’t with me,  

Hallelelujah!

Saturday, Covid 19, Quarantine

I learned today that in other countries they are not even allowed to step outside, even to walk the dog. That’s hard quarantine.  A couple was walking a very well trained dog off leash today. They do not realize that their individual arrogance is why others lose rights and privileges.  I picked Gilbert up as they walked by.  They thought me queer and inconsequential. Old man cowardly cuddling his blind old heart murmured dog .  They wanted me to trust them. My friend’s dog was attacked.  A couple of weeks back a man’s dog got off the leash and suddenly was in our face before the man breaking social distancing protocols retrieved his dog.

I liked that Dr. Bonnie Henry, our local heroine, with her own fan page, complimented the people of BC for their good behaviour.  I believe too that our good behaviour reflects the history here of good leadership and good police. The corruption is in the white collar money laundering elite thievery and the street level lower class gangster driven drug trafficking. In the middle class, what communism and dictatorships, historically, wish to destroy because of the history of the Magna Carta, we’ve been rather well treated by the police and authorities.  

We need to thank our judges and lawyers for the civil liberties , that while  fought for them and earned,   are now protected by these very respectable public institutions. It is not this way elsewhere.  In Communist countries and other dictatorships the people generally know that the government is their enemy.  The corruption is rife and whatever the government says is purely self serving. So why not break the law. Why listen to these uniformed rich thugs and their corrupt courts telling you to stay inside.  There’s  only the threat of violence and force that keeps people ‘obedient’ elsewhere. Here we trust our authorities mostly.  

Unfortunately at the national level we have the most unethical and corrupt politician in the history of Canada who fired the female aboriginal Attorney General simply because she would not countenance a dirty evil deed by a wealthy corrupt Quebec corporation backing the unprincipled PM.  

Despite that our Canadian premier’s especially Mr. Horgan of the BC NDP have been outstanding in their service to their people.  The tentacles of Chinese bribery and U.N. globalism haven’t reached to the state and city level so in this crisis we’ve seen none of the WHO political nonsense that has plagued the scientific and medical communication and response at the national level.  

We also have a free media other countries don’t have.  The  news of the CBC reads increasingly like the People’s Daily.   But we still have access to the internet.  Local news like Global and even nationally,  the National Post are mostly publishing the truth. China would not allow any social media in it’s dictatorship unless it could be restricted to ‘state propaganda’.  We don’t realize how dangerous it is for those living under dictatorships to get anything but propaganda. 

The vast majority of Canadians historically have been law abiding, cooperative people who are now not appreciating increased taxation as a kind of punishment for what Dr. Henry correctly identifies as good behaviour. Thankfully our local government is planning to relax the restrictions in a few weeks because we’re over the major medical threat and peak of the first wave of the pandemic. My friend Kirk shared the metaphor, just because we are getting closer to the ground doesn’t mean we can take off the parachute.  The Corona virus is still there. 

The spread and speed of spread to vulnerable populations has been dramatically slowed by quarantine and social distancing, hand washing and masks.  The Scientific medical community has had time to identify cures like Hydroxychloroquine and Remsifer.  We’ve also learned better identification and management. The public health services and virtual offices and even robots in the ICU have all been developed in a miraculous matter of weeks. What in the HIV epidemic took years, we’ve done in 2-3 months. The pandemic would not have occurred if science rather than politics and self interest had ruled in China. Italy was sacrificed before we knew the old and immunosuppressed were most at risk.  Until the testing of the quarantined cruise ships and Iceland’s research we didn’t know that 50 % of people get the virus but not the disease. They develop natural immunity.  It’s 3-5 days of the disease being spread in the asymptomatic in the first few days.  All this was unknown.  In New York we learned that the fomites carrying the virus were the metal railings in elevators, the buttons and the dense spaces. Unfortunately Canada’s chief health minister told people not to wear masks despite the success of this measure in Singapore, Taiwan and South Korea.  Thankfully BC had Dr. Bonnie Henry who was not swayed by politics , but instead with the support of the Health Minister Mr. Dix,  focussed on preventing disease and  saving lives with truth.

We had the Chinese fentanyl epidemic of overdoses and in our DTES the poorest of people, the sick and homeless addicts are now being hit by the Chinese Covid 19 virus despite all the attempts by the free Chinese of Taiwan to warn us all about the Communist lies and it’s take over of the WHO.  Now we see that the leaders of the Hong Kong uprising are all being rounded up and persecuted. Days before this pandemic was ‘allowed’ to spread, after it’s most likely leak from a Wuhan Virology lab , the million strong Hong Kong revolt was subjected to brutal crackdown. Nothing like a pandemic to solve internal domestic problems and further what an added advantage is the western democracies suffer and that insufferable critic of Communism Mr. Trump gets swept away as well. Better to have ‘useful idiots’ like Canada’s Mr. Trudeau to do trade with.  He gave us 16 tons of emergency equipment against medical advice in February, stolen from our doctors and nurses.  The communist chinese gave back defective crap that may as well be aimed at killing first responsders. . The Communist Chinese Central Committee, all hard men, with only one very hard token woman, has always laughed at the ‘softness’ ‘effeminate” ‘democratic’  west.

Meanwhile I’ve worked from my home with a virtual office daily seeing and talking with patients, rather enjoying only commuting from the living room to the office without having to use my car.  Even the low price of gas can’t entice me to return to hours a day of sitting in my car despite my using the time to listen to medical podcasts and speaker meetings.  At home I walk the dog more and exercise and feel healthier and less like a lemming or sardine.  I loved the year I commuted an hour each way by train in London only because everyone had a seat and I could read and write on the train. This standing room only makes commuting with public transport unsavoury.  Elsewhere women only cars and cars or times for the elderly or disabled have humanized the public transport.  Perhaps we’ll see more of that. Gender fluid I’ve not felt safe on public transit at night and been thankful for my car. Safety grows more important with age.

At home I feel safe. Not just from the cornavirus but increasingly from the lawlessness of the drug addicted and the arrogant.  I’m thankful in many way for this quarantine which has overall worked so well here compared to elsewhere because it reminds me that I see a skewed slice of the population. Having my life and my dog’s life threatened repeatedly in my work and felt the callous disregard of the immediate authorities who live themselves in elite gated communities I became more and more exhausted.  The suburbs were safer.  My home is the safest and I’m just so thankful to have the space to relax and let go of the tension of going out and mixing with strangers every day.  

People forget that for hundreds of thousands of years humans didn’t mix and lies like “Diversity is our strength’ would only fly on television and pornography raised populations.  The workplace can be diverse but all the scientific literature shows that our homes need to be places of safety and routine where we recuperate.  I feel I’m recuperating among civilized neighbours who mostly walk their dogs on leashes and say good morning and good evening.  Even most of the cyclists slow to pass and there’s a regard for others which I so often missed in the road rage world of self absorbed superior diverse drivers.  

It’s Saturday. It feels like a Saturday.  I don’t work.  I’ve an open slate. Yesterday I did the laundry and a variety of errands including picking up my Harley.  I’m looking forward to a ride, perhaps to the country. A little wind therapy and motorcycle meditation goes along way to bringing me closer to God and stilling the busy beast and settling the monkey mind. If I think of anything else but the ride I’m toast. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance really speaks to the two wheel experience. 

Thank you God for helping us through this time. Thank you for all the good people in the world and the good leadership we have locally. Thank you for kindness and love and thoughtfulness.  Hallelujah!

Easter Monday, Covid 19, Quarantine

Christ has risen. Christ has risen indeed.  Christ means messiah.  Christ will come again.  Each day of the year there is renewal and at this time of Easter, the rituals of his death and resurrection, the time in the tomb and his resurrection, it seems the world as a whole renews spiritually. I feel renewed.  When I walked Gilbert Easter morning, it was as if the air shimmered and sparkled. The sun and blue sky was simply stunning.

I wished I had a white dress and bright coloured bonnet, long white gloves and pretty sandals so I could join the ladies for Easter Sunday church service. As a boy I identified more with the frivolity and laughter of the ladies than the somber men accompanying them. We children then were still with the women. The rite of passage to being a man would come later. Often in my dreams I’ m in this afterlife with my mother and grandmother and all these lovely women, like exotic birds, having tea. I’m a child wandering through this endless world.  It was a happy time. A safe time.  I loved my father but my mother and the women of the church were so special.  The men were outside and we were inside. The fragrances and the colours were life itself.  I remember that this year.  Ive so many memories returning. Nostalgia. The heightened awareness of life under siege.  The partial isolation.  I’m even remembering and dreaming of the dogs in my life, Sunny, Shinto, Stuart and of course my present companion, Gilbert. Our walks are the best part of the day.

The Communist Chinese began this whole affair in a bio weapons lab. The bat story is the cover up. The article I’d read in Lancet had been a communist ‘alternative story’.  The bio weapon virus is not disclaimed, only blurred. The World Health Organization had been co-opted by the Chinese Communists. The UN has long been dominated by dictators, either communist or the ‘unalligned’ mostly ‘sharia’ dictators of the Middle East. It’s unconventional war.  The international community had sanctioned the Wuhan Stage 4 Lab for doing experiments of bat to human transfer of Coronavirus.  The Harvard Virologist and the Canadian Stage 4 Lab virologists had been arrested last year for complicity in assisting the Wuhan lab Caronvirus research. Now the bug had escaped, most likely. 

I laughed when my friend suggested a drunken scientist and a cocaine addicted luscious lady had, after one to many and in the passion of sex and ego left a door or window open.  SARS and Ebola had been contained. But this wasn’t contained because Xi Jinping and the Central Committee of the Chinese Communist Party did not want the news leaked.  One account says it was to ‘save face.” But that’s old Confusian Chinese character.  The Communists don’t care about face, they care only for power and world domination. At the time of the ‘accident’, Hong Kong was in open rebellion. The Iranian ally, the Muslim Religious Police and Army, had just shot down a commercial airliner of Ukraine. The northern tribes were on the verge of open revolt with 3 million in camps equivalent to the nefarious gulag. The CCP had killed and imprisoned  a million or more Falun Gong and they just wouldn’t stay down. Taiwan would not be cowed by the build up of military across the strait which the US Navy had taken to patrolling. The jets and aircraft carriers they were turning out were having problems. They wanted world dominion but couldn’t fight a conventional war without likelihood of loss, like they had, when they tried to invade India. Even Tibet threatened to revolt despite all the CCP measures of total destruction.

The WHO had a corrupt Maoist politician Tedros Adhanom as head.  The whistleblowing doctors were silenced, arrested, imprisoned and killed. The Pandemic spread.  Communists don’t account individual lives like democracies do.  Mao murdered a hundred million of his own people. Stalin murdered sixty million.  The CCP controlled the reproductive life of their whole population with threat of sterilization if anyone broke the law of one child per couple. Marx and Engles wanted to destroy the family. Everyone was an informer.  It was certainly a time that needed distraction.

The west was standing up to the incursions in every area that had gone on for a decade.  Slave labour and cheap goods had appealed to the virtue signalling vanity of the west. China had expanded it’s influence everywhere.  They would dominate and control the Pacific Rim.  It didn’t matter what Taiwan, Japan, South Korea or Australia or New Zealand or Singapore had to say about it. They would rule.  That was their next goal in their eventual plan of world domination.  Politically allying with the Middle Eastern dictators.  Just as Japan and Italy and Germany had once allied, against  their common deomocratic enemy bringing these dictatorships  together. Agenda 21 and the UN continued to serve the Communist Chinese.

Now there was this virus. Covid 19.  A pandemic that could have been stopped. A cover up. It’s by the cover up you know the psychopaths.  The evil deed is known by the lie.  So the pandemic unfolds.

The lock down is the response to the attack.  The economy of the west is hurt but it’s turning out now that the Communist plan like so many intellectualizations isn’t working as hoped. Turkey has sued China for a trillion damages.  Hundreds of countries are hurt by the pandemic which was correctly called the Chinese Flu or better still the Communist Disease.  Japan and other countries are pulling manufacturing out of China. The US has offered to pay companies  and corporations to relocate back to the the US.  

Trudeau and Quebec have alligned themselves with the Chinese and UN dictatorships.  The majority of Canadians are slow to react.  All the unethical economic waste that preceded this crisis has left the country in terrible debt.  Thousands spent on blow up dolls of the PM and paying out millions to terrorists and a useless expensive Liberal senate and the buying of the CBC have all cost Canadians as their pensions and welfare are eroded. We  live more and more like the third world in an old age dream of retirement. The lock down has hit everyone. 

The scientific medical phase of the siege assault is being won and now the economic war begins.  Slowly work resumes with face masks, social distancing and small congregations of people.  The year to come continues to be one of caution. A second wave of the Covid 19 could be like the second wave of Spanish Flu. That one was worse. But today we are light years ahead in science.  What took two years to learn in the Aids epidemic we’ve achieved in 2 months. There are already cures and the lethality of the virus is little compared to the previous epidemics.  Just as bacteria once decimated nations but was beat by Sulfa and Penicillin so to viruses are being cured and prevented with vaccines.  A vaccine will provide protection as will herd immunity.  Back to work in May and vaccines by fall or winter.

Thats the medical emergency. But there’s intrigue and mystery and world leaders like Mr. Trump and Mr. Johnson have advisors discussing the very big picture that involves banks, air craft carriers, trade, and so much more than the media and social media algorithms can disclose. The media still finds the Kardasian reality of Identity politics relative. The Health Minister of Canada calls the scientists and physicians who criticize her incompetence as racist. The media portrays that.  Media is made for the masses. It’s at best set to the level of high school or a year or two of college.  Writing for internet attention should never be more than a paragraph long because of the limited attention span of modern generations. No one reads a book. The meme is the message.  McLuhans was right.  It’s  entertainment and reality tv.

Behind the scenes there is so much more.  I get a glimpse of the depth when I read an article from Nature or Science and remember looking into the complex world of the electron microscope. Wheels within wheels.

It’s Easter Monday. There is hope.  Spring is here.  I see women have begun to wear sun dresses and bare legs. I’m hopeful that bikini season is coming soon. We may not be able to touch but we can still look.  Christ has risen. Hallelujah.  I woke this morning without a fever, sore throat, or cough.