Journal - Burnaby - Thor -Sunday

Wow. Am I groggy this morning.  I slept well and dreamed of being in my northern place with people and trucks and hunting and fishing. I went to bed last night after two movies

Jolt and Canary Black , both starring Kate Bekinsale , both really good thriller’s .  

I made spaghetti too. I’ve not been making many stews relying on barbecue. This was a delicious meal.

I drove Madigan with me to the Chiropracter. That gave me a day of reprieve.  Madigan enjoyed his time in the dog park.  I collected the mail more disappointing notice of taxes and more taxes.  I’m feeling the weight of economics.  Each pay cheque paying off credit cards.  Money in the bank but feeling behind as I live from paycheck to pay check. The high cost of rent and the high interest on loan/mortgage.  This aging thing with the concern I’ll be able to keep performing as more and more around me die or becoming disabiled.

Negativity bombarding me while I try to maintain positive outlook.  I turn to God and pray and meditate but don’t ‘feel’ the presence though I ‘know’ it is there.  

Fear is what I fear.

Now this morning I wake groggy.  

I had my nails done, pedicure and manicure. The pedicure was really medical. I can’t bend to work on my toes and fear cutting myself if I did. I can bend down but holding and working in that position concerns me. I appreciate the ‘care’. The manicure was option.  Black and clean and ‘fresh’ as Laura’s favourite adjective.  

I rode in my car with Madigan and I rode alone on the Vespa.  

It was opening of bow hunting.  I’m ambivalent about hunting.  I didn’t get out bow hunting, 

I’m stopping so many main activities with aging and change.  I no longer go to Whistler, Blackcomb and Grouse for down hill skiing. I’m no longer scuba diving. I’m not offshore sailing. I‘ve not been golfing or target shooting.  I don’t hike. 

All I’ve done this last year is ride my motorcycle, take long trips, walk the dog, barbecue, read and journal. I’ve not made progress on the books

I’m working. I’m working regularly 30 to 40 hours most weeks.  

I’m enjoying audiobooks and study.  I’ve been planning trips to Venice, maybe Vienna and Berlin and Irelan again. I’ve bucket lists. This year the big event has been moving into the motorhome and selling my former homes ,the sailboat last year and the Fusion 40 foot Fifthwheel.  I’m planning on selling my camper and truck when the repair and insurance work is done.  I figure with a little truck like the Ford Maverick, I can tow it behind the Motorhome and use it to hunt and travel backwoods. I might not even keep my quad though I could carrying it in the back of the truck though I’d planned to have the motorcycle there. If I reduce to one motorcycle I think it will be the HD Nighster Specail though the Vespa is so much more convenient and pleasant.  

My friend Kirk is off to India again.  I work to have the means of independence but could just be dependent , renting, and getting cabins and monastic rooms and college rooms and travel more.  The thing is I prefer the freedom and independence of my house on wheel. I really am looking forward to taking the motorhome south  The beauty of teh Vespa is that it can go back roads whereas the Harley is a highway machine. The Vespa does better day to day in the city too.

This coffee is waking me up. I feel like the cobwebs in my mind are lifting.

I walked him and he had a poop so I feel respopnsble. The little guy has my company and shares my meals but i don’t play with him enough or pet him enough in my mind.  Otherwise he has a dog’s life.  He’s such a good boy and such a terrific companion. He does like to be with me riding in the car or on the bike.  Next weekend or the weekend after he’ll be out on the quad hunting partridge with me.  

I have the oil change to be done on Thor but then I could go off hunting for a weekend.  I could take the truck and camper up to Princeton for that regular haunt.  It’s been productive in the past but it’s been busy recent years.  I could go up north a bit from there and be where there’s more grouse and more opportunity. I can be off grid a few days tool. 

I’m getting interested. My focus has been preparation for heading south .I still have to have my hitch checked out by H&E and hoped to do that on the way home from Damm.  I should call them this week and discus it. I ‘m just anxious about driving my motorhome through town.  Each of these is a challenge. I also thought of taking Laura up to Whistler RV since there’s likely a spot and I would have the Vespa if H&E cleared the hitch.  

My mind is wakening with coffee. My soul is still a concern. I didn’;t pray or meditate much this morning.

I was in two on line meetings and my men’s meeting this week.  I didn’t make church because they were going to have it in the park.  Maybe next week. 

I’m looking forward to going to art galleries and museums. I’m reading about the history of the Impressionists and recognize the names and works. I’ve acquired some knowledge . I’m an educated man in that regard but ponder the relevance.  

I’m listening to Joseph Campblell and finding the ‘myths of primitive people uninspiring. I’m mostly uplifted by Christianity and Spirituality and perhaps should listen to recent Christian teachers or the historic John of the Cross.  So much to learn.  

I just read a Spanish American War historical fiction and learned of Cuba and the defeat of Spain as a colonial nation.  

It’s supposed to rain.  I’ve the rent to pay and could plan a swim.  The mate doens’t like to walk in the rain and has had his morning poop.  It’s not a very demanding schedule.  

I’m having difficulty concentrating on reading serious writing.  I waste time on social media.  I know that the main themes are the Sidney Sweeney white girl jeans - so the attack on celts again, and the Baseball Karen having a temper tantrum taking the ball from the dad who got it for his son - the feminist attack on the father , the Ukraine war money laundering, the Antisemeticsim and Gaza, the continued Carnie mismanagement of the economy and anti Alberta and Western Canada with persistent ‘climate change’ adulation despite the overwhelming evidence now i’ts a con and no ‘emergency’.  Then there’s the RFK investigation into the vaccines and Fauci lying to the President. Then there’s the Great War parade of Putin, China and North Korea alliance.  Then there’s the fall of England to censorship and sharia and communism, while Poland thrives on Christian it’s and freedom.  Nation after nation like Italy are pushing back against the invasion of Muslim young men.  Trump id exporting illegal aliens while Carnie protects them. 

At least we haven’t heard much from the Kardasians though all the old rockers are looking old.

I’m making dinner at 7 and then watching movies and series like the Man in the High Castle or Rookie from 7 to 10 or 11.  Three hours of tv a night with munching when I could be exercising and dancing or something.  I’m making baby steps with the Foundation Training and it helps the chronic back pain which is really just the product of carrying the belly. I should move to Africa where there are nations where fat men are celebrated.  

Madigan and I are happy when Laura is around.  I have purpose serving them and don’t wonder so much about my meaning and whether I’m doing right. 

With work I’m of service.  But in my personal life I’m without the goals I used to have. -to sail across an ocean, to become an M.Div, to learn diesel mechanics, to ride a motorcycle, to scuba dive, to write a book, to do ‘stuff’.  Now I’m waiting to ‘drive my motorhome’ south or anywhere. That’s the challenge.  

I’ve a storage locker I should be clearing out too.  

Here I am active at least. My mind is functional.  I’m going for another coffee.  

Today is the New Westminster Recovery Day celebration but I’m concerned about the potential rain.  

Better pay the rent and dump the garbage.

Thank you Creator for this world and myself in it today. Thank you Jesus for your life and example and friendship and guidance.  Help me to do thy will and have the power and strength to carry that out. Help me know thy will.

Thank you Jesus