Hope

I woke from nightmares.  It's a fairly common phenomena in my life times. My dreams are the royal road to the unconscious.  When I'm feeling threatened the old themes come back.
In this dream I was passing through a building in my childhood city.  Just wanting to get across this area of the city where there was no road and I had to pass through this building.  The city is a city that appears often in my dreams, on a hill surrounded by water, rivers and oceans or lakes. I've sailed round it, travelled through it. It's a kind of template for the numinous dreams. Jung described as numinous those dreams that had a deeper sense as if somehow connected to God. I often find them pointing to something.
In this dream I'm talking to a group of men. They're criminals and addicts. I'm just letting them know that I'm passing through.  I sense threat and say that the police are my protection and they laugh.  They have no fear of the police. I realize then that even mentioning the police to criminals is a sign of weakness to them.  That brings out the savage.  There's a security guard in the building and I turn to him. He works for the gang, obviously. But I keep holding onto childhood beliefs in symbols long invalidated.
Next I'm fighting with the security guard trying to escape the building with one of the first men following me.  I've a wallet full of money and a ring. I don't know what the ring is, perhaps from the Hobbit, or a depiction of lost marriage and the death of love, as a protected and respected 'institution'. The money is at question:
I find myself going through a quick checklist of what I could do which wouldn't show more weakness and invite more attack. This is while I'm circling these two the one having done all those jumping and kicking ninja things and i've fingered the knife I'm carrying in the back of my jeans.
It's the Crete knife of the man there.  I picked it up travelling, a bull's horn handle. The whole symbolism of dreams is that the isle of Crete men always carried a knife for self protection and protection of their family.  I was there to see the oldest western palace, the home of the Minoans.
I'm reading the story of William Wallace.  When the English illegally invaded Scotland by manipulating the law then breaking promise after promise, Wallace with the support of the supreme Scottish Bishop Wishart protected the people from the depradations of English soldiery.
The principle tactic of these villains was to bring a false witness against a scottish home owner, then imprison him to take his land and by the way raping his wife, sons and daughters.  William Wallace gathered these 'Greens' to Selkirk Forest and poured down vengeance on any English who 'bore false witness' to steal the land from the Scots.  It's one of those tales I was raised on and later saw Braveheart. This is Jack Whytes, historical fiction, Forest Laird.
In a fist a cuffs these young men are superior. Disarming the citizenry always disarms the old. I get injured more easily and the injuries take months or years to heal today if they do.  I have the same brute strength of youth and a determination that once raised won me free from gangs leaving bodies in my wake. But I was only in my teens and 20's then and learned not to fight but over the years I've had so many bullies and guns and knifes thrust at me and survived.  Only 2 years ago I escaped from a group of muggers elbowing one in the face after having my gold cross ripped from my throat.
So this dream is a replay of that. Only in this dream I have a knife.
When I was in Mexico a young man pulled a gun on me and demanded I give him my camera and money. I had a knife then so pulled that and lunged at him. I'd put a whistle I carry for such purposes in my mouth and was blowing that as I did. The young man ran and jumped on the back of the little Honda motorcycle they'd driven up on with me chasing the pair.
In this dream the two men are older and tougher.  I don't think a knife will dissuade them and if I pull a weapon I must always be willing to use it.  Which I am but those who aren't are the ones we hear of killed by their own 'bluff'.
In my dream I run through a half dozen scenarios of offering half the money only to have them attack me once I showed weakness so they could take it all, as it's always 2 or more against one, dealing with criminals, they're 'nests', and depend on numbers like wolves.
In another scenario I've pulled the knife and slit the throat of one so the other runs.  I once hit a kid in the head with a rock and the other bullies dispersed. I pulled a knife on a gang in a northern fight, one of the guys had a bicycle chain, and they backed off but I was with two friends similarly armed though outnumbered 3 to one.  I always laugh at the city boys and girls who haven't worked beyond the law.  My male friends usually have experienced bullies but some of the women have , their experiences more often one on one whereas ours are weapons and numbers.
The courts and lawyers are symbolic warfare. They're supposed to replace the battlefield because of the higher code of diplomacy and compromise.
But the English courts of Wallace were corrupted to the core. And St. Francis confirms the failure of the courts of the world to do anything more than serve the interest of the bullies.  Diplomacy and justice were satisfying because they were valued for their own right. They maintained peace because the rich would occasionally pay. There was the basic 'eye for an eye'.
I felt in court as so many of my peers feel these days.  I was called a liar and a cheat and the man who was a liar and cheat and a bully of the lowest order was preferred.  Of course the crown can declare black is white.
Edward the Plantagenet did just that with the Scots.  Might is right.
Ours is an age of lies, cover ups and confusion. I find it hard to be loyal to the crown when the crown so cavalierly supports the psychopaths and sociopaths.  Locally where I live the drug dealers are the richest and those in power are beholden to the dirty drug money.
I hear the Mafia may take out a hit on St. Francis.  The political story of Jesus is actively being removed from school curriculums because it is simply too revolutionary. Better to replace it with hindu or buddhist slavery.  The western liberal decries St. Paul's words about slaves being good to their masters but overlooks the centuries of untouchables and foundation of the 'religious caste' system, which maintains the status quo far better than even Constantines rewriting of Christianity for the sake of empire.  So the secular world prefers the slavery of African paganism or the slavery of the east to the Western world with it's rich and poor and the poor at least hopeful of achieving citizenry through American Idol or the Lottery.
And if I kill my attackers the court has a means to kill me.  Self defence was no defence in Scotland in the times of Edward.  Wallace's wife's family were killed but he was the villain for revenge.
The first rule of state according to Jared Diamond, anthropologist, in Traditional Society, is that the 'keeping of the peace' is the duty of the king.  Yet the King today is showing little capacity even to address the admitted law breaking dope smoking of his opposition.
If I can smoke dope I can defend myself and kill my attacker, says the vigillante.
And the citizenry turn to the police who are no longer tasked to protect them but rather have "task forces" or some such nonsense that leave the streets unsafe for common citizens.  As night falls in my neighbourhood I feel less safe walking the streets. I don't feel unsafe in any other sense than that I would be faced with the dilemma of my dreams.  I know women of character don't come into my neighbourhood at night.  I felt safer in the strange city of Singapore than I do in my home.
So where is their hope.  I would put my hope politically in Harper for his mandate is to help the elderly but then I'd see hope in Mulcair too whose mandate has long been support of the elderly.  I don't feel safe with Justin as he doesn't seem to know my dilemma and could never comprehend the tale of Wallace or Jean Val Jean.  I watched Chretien on the news last night and enjoyed seeing that old rogue I met so many years ago. I trusted him like one trusts General Patton.  When I met Harper I felt the same as I did when I met Pierre Elliot, in the company of senior statesmen, very smart men, and I believe Harper is wise.
But I'm backed to the wall in a dream trying to escape a building, just wanting passage, the very thing that the Romans maintained their empire with, the 'right of passage', the 'right of same passage', 'safe streets'.  I don't feel safe on the streets older.  In my dream I have to pass through a building controlled by thugs and have money and a knife.
My nephews are playing games.  I played Duke Nukem and Diablo and some other role playing games.  Life is cheap in these games but the young are faced with my dilemma day in day out a thousand times in games ,and the one who hesitates loses.
I'm reading Parker's latest book with Marshal Virgil and Deputy Hitch. It's the same issue of shoot first or be shot. The zombies are another metaphor.
I'm a healer.  All scottish warriors serve as healers first. The navy seals learn first aid to care for their fallen.
I've always put my faith in the RCMP and Vancouver Police. They live and work within such restrictions. In their game, they play hockey according to the rules whereas the criminals can bring AK47's onto the rink anytime they want but the RCMP and Vancouver police are expected to win the hockey game with only sticks and skates.
The rule of law is failing since 'truth' is like 'rule'. If you and I come to the game and you bring an AK47 and I bring a hockey stick then it's a whole different game.
St. Francis is hope.
For the old death is hope.
I know that my brother and sister care less for their lives than they do for their children. The baby boomers and the yuppies are of the age where their own lives count less than the future and their children.
There is hope in that.
I sat at a table in Vancouver where one of the rulers of the society, rich and powerful, complained of having to have his men shoot a union agitator.  I think of the mothers and fathers today who have sent their children to universities and now find that they could have saved themselves hundreds of thousands of dollars because the sons and daughters of the drug cartels of Canada didn't need an MBA since they could buy a lawyer and they had AK47's and knew how to use them.
I'll fee safer when women carry purse guns again.  I'm tired of protecting them disarmed. They're so unhappy. Yet every Hitler has an Eva Brawn.
There is hope in St. Francis. There is hope in court reform. There is hope in the fear of the guillotine.  In the end William Wallace died like Jesus.
Scotland is vying for independence today.  Krishna said to Arjuna that the war among family and friends will always go on and the only question is whether we join or not.
I've already been poor and naked and raped and I've always wanted to be a missionary so maybe the way out of the building is naked and walking, or dead , or simply with blood on my hands.  We all have blood on our hands in the west.
The Enders Game movie is out. My nephews have seen it. "not as good as the book'.  We all could use an alien war. Everything is civil war now the Space Station has given us Major Tom again.  That's why zombies and the fight with nature and science and biology have more mean.  I like that Gates is facing up to disease. It's the most manly of fights.  Wrestling with the devil or wrestling with God. In the background Cain kills Abel.