Saturday, March 20, 2010

Marina Park Boys and Girls - Television Series/Movie Proposal

This is a television series proposal for a North Vancouver spin off of the classics "trailer park boys"/gas station corner/seinfeld in the rough/friends without too much education/office without typewriter/and the in the city northern town series. Hawaii 5.0 figures into the dog chase scenes along with Sex in the City with overalls.

It is set in the Mosquito Creek Marina which is First Nations owned. The Roman Catholic Cathedral run by the Oblates stands in the background. Pop Eyes the second hand Marine exchange store stands around the corner. The cafe in the Marina is a truly funky little place run by a great motorcycle riding chef. The marina is stock full of real life characters. No money has to be spent on actor training, costume or make up making this a truly low budget production with high appeal.

First Nation chiefs and war canoes. The political French Canadians who believe that Chretien is the Messiah and claim he had a virgin birth and get into trouble with the locals trying to erect a statue of poor Jean and insist that all radio communication on the coast be in French and English. The really hot Lesbian solo sailor has a stocker for an ex husband.. The wry Jewish survivor of the israeli wars with ptsd lives isolated on his converted fishing boat and attends sexaholic anonymous. The old English second brother of the Earl has seen better times, and is always drunk. Bimbos in high heels loung on the decks of fancy motor yachts with big engines. All manner of down to earth craftsman with sage wisdom pass in and out of the series. There's Barry the Welder and his loveable wife Andria. Then there's the quiet genius rigger Stewart from Pro Tek. The backwoods ski guide , sometime Tugboat Captain has the gorgeous brilliant erotic Emily Carr art professor girlfriend. The boat lift operator, a truly savy character, knows everyone and everything. Nobody messes with him. He's the friend of the good guys and doesn't tolerate the arrogant. There's off shore sailors, weekend sailing idiots, power boat stock brokers and tobacco boat criminals. Alongside this mess are the good and bad boat dealers shady as the proverbial used car salesman. People are routinely buy used boats without parts while the new yacht sales man has too much integrity to make any profit

The Marina Park Boys and Girls are a rag tag collection of boat owners and wannabes. It's illegal to live aboard. Some are and some are outfitting their boats so are there but aren't. Some have jobs. Some live on pensions. There's dogs and cats and boa constrictors. It's an amazing and vibrant west coast community. The stories are hilarious and it's a constant circus of entertainment. The weekday guys are handy and the weekend guys are clutzs. The weekday 'molls' are heart of gold seen alot of life sisters while the weekend girls are innocent silly newbies wearing tevas and white shorts.

There's grease and broken hearts and tiffs and soap opera with all the drama usually left on afternoon tv.

The series open with the terrorist bomb weilding drug smuggling tobacco boats and the RCMP along with First Nations constables saving the day. The police dog poodle actually saves the day. The cammo coloured nasdiq wearing suicide bomber women refuse to go through with the bombing when they learn what Canada will do to their husbands and how they will be put up and given an education at Simon Frazer if they in their C4. They were conspicuous in the west coast marina. They've not had the cultural awareness training and not fully prepped for the bombing/theft of the amazing Jimmy Pattison yacht with helicopter pad situated outside Canada Place. The Chase scenes go around Coal Harbour and end in running chase through the white haired lawn bowling in Stanley Park.

Another scene involves the mysterious exploding Electroscan shitter Zapper.

Another scene involves the "new boat owner".

There's the party with the Jim Byrnes band to raise money for the new war canoe. The war canoes are used for a ceremonial taking over of the Parliament Buildings of Victoria to object to the polluting of the salmon run waters.

There's the Tall Ships going aground in the marina. Scuba diving and saving the killer whale expedition. The fishermen and the forest fire water bombers. Definitely there's an Irish story telling doctor and some displaced Newfies. There's the loggers living on boats and working the north shore. There's the muffin lady.

There's the moving of the sea walrus out of the harbour because thier loud love making is disturbing the evangelicals - naturally a war takes place between the Oblates and the Evangelicals whose community church is always frowning on the First Nations ways. Meanwhile Jesus actually walks on water in the harbour and the government says it's a metereological phenomena.

Aliens land in the marina and take some of the things they find in Pop Eyes saying they didn't know they could still be found anywhere in the galaxy and that they're absolultely necessary to fixing their spaceship. Barry the welder fixes a strut on the landing gear.

Meanwhile some of the guys have been working on a bathtub for the annual Nanaimo Vancouver bathtub race but there's is a unit that will pass inspection initially but has the underwater carriage to take a jet rocket removed from a ski doo to give the entrants an edge. The guys from Trinity have surreptitiously helped while the jewish guy turns out to be a computer engineer who did counter terrorist rocket propulsion stuff in the middle east. He falls in love with the Oblate nun who cures his sex addiction for Jesus. There's alot of problems with the rocket propelled bathtub that almost make it into the Darwin Awards. The only one who will drive the thing is a Chinese Chiropractor who says it's just like riding a Buell. He works out of his houseboat. In the end its disqualified but he technology is bought up by Jimmy Patterson who uses the computer technology to develop a new safe car that is produced in Canada and puts Volvo out of business because the Canadian car is safer and sexy.

There's a scene too where the Canadian label clothes designer decides to have a modelling film shoot using the dock for a run way. Some spectacular dunks occur with Italian models falling in the brink with spectacular rescues by locals. Beginning of love stories and more deck bling.

That's the gist of it.

You really wouldn't have to be too creative because the characters with their grow operations, home made wine, AA meetings and religious conversions after bizarre events are a daily feature of the Mosquito Creek/Lynnwood Marina scene.

I know. I've lived there. I got rid of my television when I found out I could just sit and watch the dock and get much more entertainment from my friends and all the local flavour. There's Shakespeare and Billy Graham, John Rauls, Keynes and Virgina Wolf all vying for attention on a daily basis. The comedy is incredible. Of course great comedy always occurs in the midst of tragedy but the laughter always surpasses the tears in the marina. Hurricanes are a fact of life as are tsunamis. The laughter gets us through.

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